Question

英语大神进！急~

这是我写的英语作文，学校要。哪位大神帮我看看有没有语法错误，有的话帮我改一下，谢谢啦~很急的~

My Big Family
Do you like your family?Most people will say“Of course”.Your family will make you happy when you feel upset.So is my family.It’s really big but warm enough.There are eight people in my family. I’m glad to let you know them.
My grandfather is a brave political instructor before.He left many scars from the army.He has dug in many caves.When he told me these things,he always smiled.Now,one of the caves he dug in open to the tourists.He wrote an article about this cave and sent it to the company.He also have the studens all over the China.Some of them usually call him up.And some of them usually visit him.He is popular before,isn’t he?
My grandma cooks very well.Her education isn’t very good but she is a really good grandma.She quitted her job to look after me when I was very young.I thaked her a lot.
My father is a fireman before.But now,he is a officer.He becomes fatter and fatter.So,he persist in playing badminton with his colleagues twice a week.He is thinner now.But he likes to eat sweets,especially candy flass.When I remind him not to eat sweet so much.Of course,it goes in one ear and out the other.
How about my mother?She is proud to draw or paint a beautiful picture.She does well in handicraft.I have to admit her talent.But she isn’t rational when she is shopping!She buy a lot of coat and shoes.
My aunt is a kind woman.She usually shopping with my mother.She is my father’s sister.She usually give me presents.She is very fashionable.She has almost been to all the cake shops.Isn’t that crazy?
My uncle is a humorous person.He is my aunt’s husband. He is not only a elder ,but also a friend.We usually talked on phone before he became my uncle.He is good at computer.So,he usually tells me the most popular large games.
The last one is my cousin.He is my aunt’s son.He is only 5 years old now.But he is infatuated with cartoons and toy cars.He has more than one hundred toy cars in different sizes and colors.He likes to watch me playing computer games,too.I have to play games about spiderman or superman everyday.He usually fights with my father .That’s inevitable because he was born in the year of chicken.And my father was born in the year of dog.
We eat dinner together almost every night.Do you like my family?

Answer 1

My Big Family
Do you like your family?Most people will say“Of course”.Your family will make you happy when you feel upset.So is my family.It’s really big （but->and) warm enough.There are eight people in my family. I’m glad to （let you know->introduce) them.
My grandfather is a brave political instructor before.He left many scars from the army.He has dug in many caves.(你先说爷爷是政治指导，后来又说有伤疤，又说挖洞，感觉没什么联系，如果它们确实有联系，你应该表达出，如果没联系，就不要这么啰嗦的写；这里的挖洞是什么意思，也许你知道，但别人不知道，所以你要讲清楚，我也不明白你要表达的意思，所以解释一下这个词)When he told me these things,he always smiled.Now,one of the caves he dug （in->is） open to the tourists.He wrote an article about this cave and sent it to the company.He also have the studens all over (the去掉) China.Some of them （usually->often) call him up.And some of them (usually->often) visit him.He is popular (before去掉）,isn’t he?
My grandma cooks very well.Her education isn’t very （good->high) but she is a really (good grandma->kind person).She quitted her job to look after me when I was very young.I (thaked->thanked) her a lot.
My father is a fireman before.But now,he is (a->an) officer.（He becomes fatter and fatter.->He is fond of sports,especially badminton.)(没必要说他越来越胖，这样的语气突然转入略微负面的评价，你可以说他是个体育爱好者，尤其喜欢羽毛球)So,he (persist->persists) in playing badminton with his colleagues twice a week.(He is thinner now.去掉）But he likes （to eat->eating） sweets,especially candy flass.(When I remind him not to eat sweet so much.Of course,it goes in one ear and out the other.-> Sometimes,I remind him of keeping healthy with less sweets intake. However,he always recommend his favorite sweet to me,saying sweets bring you happiness and that's also a kind of important health in the stressful daily life.） (你的主题是要表现有很多家庭成员，更重要的是表现他们之间的融洽关系，以说明你们家庭的大，那么这种左耳进右耳出，语气上就不和谐)
How about my mother?She is proud( to draw or paint->of drawing or painting) (a beautiful picture->beautiful pictures all by herself).She does well in handicraft.I （have to admit->have wondered) her talent.(这太勉强了吧，你要不吝惜自己的感情)But she isn’t rational when she is shopping!She buy a lot of (coat->coats) and shoes.
My aunt is a kind woman.She usually (shopping->go shopping) with my mother.(She is my father’s sister.去掉 这句多余)She （usually->often) (give->gives) me presents.She is very fashionable.She has almost been to all the (cake shops->clothesing stores)(fasshionable特指衣着时髦，和食物没关系，而且这句话放到第一句末尾比较好).Isn’t that crazy?
My uncle is a humorous person.（He is my aunt’s husband.这句也多余） He is not only a elder ,but also a friend.We usually talked on phone before（ he became my uncle去掉）.（没成为你叔叔怎么会和你通话，有点奇怪）He is good at computer.So,he （usually->often） tells me the most popular (large games-> computer games).
The last one is my cousin.He is my aunt’s son.He is only 5 years old now.But he is infatuated with cartoons and toy cars.He has more than one hundred toy cars in different sizes and colors.He likes (to watch->watching) me (playing->play) computer games,too.( I have to play games about spiderman or superman everyday.->He gets more excited when I play games about spiderman or superman.) He usually fights with my father .(According to Chinese Zodiac)That’s inevitable because he was born in the year of chicken.And my father was born in the year of dog.
We eat dinner together almost every night.(And that is my big family加上这句，不然有点唐突)Do you like my family?

Answer 2

1，He left many scars from the army.是说为战争留下伤痕。
改成 he has got scars from the army. ,
2，Now,one of the caves he dug in open to the tourists要用被动，洞是被开放的，用完成时比较好，强调影响。
改成 one of the caves he dug has been open to the tourists
3，He also have the studens all over the China.Some of them usually call him up.And some of them usually visit him.He is popular before,isn’t he?
studens 拼写错误，检查一下看别的地方是否都写正确了。
4,he persist
改成 persists 三人称单数加S
5,Her education isn’t very good
改成 she recieved lower education.
6，She is proud to draw or paint a beautiful picture
改成 She is fond of drawing or painting a beautiful picture
7,She usually shopping with my mother
改成 She usually go shopping with my mother.
8,He is not only a elder
改成 an elder
9,he usually tells me the most popular large games
改成 tell me how to play the most ....
10,I have to play games about spiderman or superman everyday.
改成 I love playing games about.....,
基本上挺好的，你这样的年龄能写出这样的文章已经很不错了，加油！！文章中一些拼写和基本语法，按照我改写的再检查检查，祝好运、成功！

Answer 3

My Big Family
Do you like your family? Most people will say “Of course”. Your family will make you happy when you feel upset. So is my family. It’s really big but warm enough. There are eight people in my family. I’m glad to let you know them.
My grandfather is a brave political instructor before. He left many scars from the army. He has dug in many caves. When he told me these things, he always smiled.Now, one of the caves he dug in open to the tourists. He wrote an article about this cave and sent it to the company. He also has the students all over the China. Some of them usually call him upland some of them usually visit him. He is popular before, isn’t he?
My grandma cooks very well. Her education isn’t very good but she is a really good grandma. She quitted her job to look after me when I was very young. I thanked her a lot.
My father is a fireman before. But now, he is an officer. He becomes fatter and fatter.So, he persists in playing badminton with his colleagues twice a week. He is thinner now. But he likes to eat sweets, especially candy flass.When I remind him not to eat sweet so much. Of course, it goes in one ear and out the other.
How about my mother? She is proud to draw or paint a beautiful picture. She does well in handicraft. I have to admit her talent. But she isn’t rational when she is shopping! She buys a lot of coat and shoes.
My aunt is a kind woman. She usually shops with my mother. She is my father’s sister. She usually gives me presents. She is very fashionable. She has almost been to all the cake shops. Isn’t that crazy?
My uncle is a humorous person. He is my aunt’s husband. He is not only an elder, but also a friend. We usually talked on phone before he became my uncle. He is good at computer.So; he usually tells me the most popular large games.
The last one is my cousin. He is my aunt’s son. He is only 5 years old now. But he is infatuated with cartoons and toy cars. He has more than one hundred toy cars in different sizes and colors. He likes to watch me playing computer games, too.I have to play games about Spiderman or superman everyday. He usually fights with my father .That inevitable because he was born in the year of chicken. And my father was born in the year of dog.
We eat dinner together almost every night. Do you like my family?

Answer 4

粗略的看了一下，给个建议：你的文章的衔接性不强，英语文章是很直白的，作文要有个主题，要有主题句，主题句里面要有限制语，往下写要有支撑句来支撑主题句和来表现限制语。你的文章多数是简单句，这样显得你的文章水平不高，一篇好的文章要多用并列句家并列连词来写，最难得是用复合句来写，和把句子给多用名词来表示，比如 "walk" 可以表示为“have a walk”像这样有很多。
你的文章把它多用并列连词给它连接一下出来的效果会更好。段与段之间要有过度词来衔接。
只供参考！

Answer 5

都有文字提示了 没找到钥匙 意思就是车辆防盗装置没有感应到遥控钥匙 防盗系统会切断油路 原因有遥控器电池没电了-感应器故障-附近无限干扰比较强 如果电池超过三年就换 3V的2032电池 你也可以把遥控钥匙拿出来靠近方向柱 离感应器近点也许能

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