Question

有没有哪位英语高手帮我改改这篇自荐信，急用！！！

For Dream
I’m a dreamer,dreaming to climb to the top of the business mountain;dreaming to erase poor,cheat,war,diseases…and every bad things in the world.
I have dreams,and I’m sure that HKU is the best place to approach my dreams.There I can feel the changes of finance every minute by myself;I can find many people to go together;I can develop myself in a different way.
I’m a sunshine girl,so I have many friends.we debate about problems in study or of the society.Talking with them develop me in many ways.
I’m in charge of the broadcasting station of our school. I relax myself in sharing my fevorite songs and articles with my schoolmates.
But I love alone,too. I love reading,and the books make me become wiser;I love playing with numbers,which make me enjoy succeeding.
The dream never is the star in the sky,it is in my hands.I’m sure I’m the person who can catch the chances in his life,and HKU is a big chance in my life.
是修改，像语法问题之类的。不是翻译

Answer 1

为了梦想
我是个梦想家,梦想着能够登上商界的最高处,梦想着消除贫穷、欺骗、战争、疾病……和世界上每一个糟糕的事情。
我有梦想,而且我相信香港大学是我接近梦想的最好的地方。在那儿我可以自己时刻感觉到金融变化。我可以把许多人聚集起来。我可以在各方面发展我自己。
我是一个阳光女孩,所以我有很多朋友。我们争论一些学习上或社会上的问题。和他们讨论在很多方面发展了我自己。
我负责我们学校的广播电台,我们学校的骄傲。在和我同学分享我最喜欢的歌曲和文章时，我自己得到放松。
但我也喜欢孤独。我喜欢阅读,而且书使我变得更聪明;我爱玩数字,它让我感受成功。
梦想决不是天空中的星星,它掌握在我自己手中。我确信我是可以抓住我生命中出现的机会，而且香港大学就是我生命中的一个大机会。

Answer 2

we debate about problems in study or the society.

I relax myself in sharing my favourite songs and articles with my schoolmates.