Question

语法总觉得有错误可是word检查不出来。求指导。

We senior 3 students are supposed to participate in growing-up ceremony ingymnasium at Chinese youth day, 4th may 2013. We are responsible forourselves because we have grown up and not a child any longer. Meanwhile,feeling thankful for our parent since they bought us up exhaustedly. What’smore, as a member of society, we ought to be responsible for it. With themeaningful ceremony, we realize that the responsibility we taken will beheavier than ever before, making decision thoroughly also.“We are responsible forourselves because we have grown up and not a child any longer.”and后面不是应该接句子吗not不清楚是什么类的词如果动词不是应该跟前面一样写现在完成时吗。。这是高考15分满分的作文大概能拿多少分。。。

Answer 1

有语法问题。.1.“because we have grown up and not a child any longer.”前后矛盾。前面用we,后面用a child,且缺了谓语。. because we have grown up and are not children any longer.
2."feeling thankful for our parent since they bought us up exhaustedly"这句没有主语。We feelthankful for our parent since they bought us up exhaustedly.
3."as a member of society, we ought to be responsible for it."要注意单复数，一会儿是we，一会儿是a member.全文都是we做主语，那就要注意不要使用单数的词。
4.we realize that the responsibility we taken will beheavier than ever before, making decision thoroughly also.“此句不通。写长句要抓住主句，先写主句再填充。。
5.全篇还是挺不通顺的。。感觉都是一些写心得体会的，用第一人称会不会更佳。写作文的时候，可以适当使用各种句型，倒装句，强调句，伴随语态等。对于长句若没把握，建议使用短句更佳。

追问

回答得很详细啊啊谢啦！we realize that the responsibility we taken will beheavier than ever before, making decision thoroughly also. 这一句怎么整合比较好呢，因为基础写作只能用五个句子呢。