Question

求翻译~~~

I had an experience some years ago which taught me something about the ways in which people make a bad situation worse by blaming themselves. One January, I had to officiate at two funerals on successive days for two elderly women in my community. Both had died "full of years," as the Bible would say; both yielded to the normal wearing out of the body after a long and full life. Their homes happened to be near each other, so I paid condolence (吊唁) calls on the two families on the same afternoon.

At the first home, the son of the deceased (已故的) woman said to me, "If only I had sent my mother to Florida and gotten her out of this cold and snow, she would be alive today. It's my fault that she died." At the second home, the son of the other deceased woman said, "If only I hadn't insisted on my mother's going to Florida, she would be alive today. That long airplane ride, the abrupt change of climate, was more than she could take. It's my fault that she's dead."

When things don't turn out as we would like them to, it is very tempting to assume that had we done things differently, the story would have had a happier ending. Priests know that any time there is a death, the survivors will feel guilty. Because the course of action they took turned out badly, they believe that the opposite course - keeping Mother at home, postponing the operation – would have turned out better. After all, how could it have turned out any worse?

There seem to be two elements involved in our readiness to feel guilt. The first is our pressing need to believe that the world makes sense, that there is a cause for every effect and a reason for everything that happens. That leads us to find patterns and connections both where they really exist and where they exist only in our minds.

The second element is the notion that we are the cause of what happens, especially the bad things that happen. It seems to be a short step from believing that every event has a cause to believing that every disaster is our fault. The roots of this feeling may lie in our childhood. Psychologists speak of the infantile myth of omnipotence (万能). A baby comes to think that the world exists to meet his needs, and that he makes everything happen in it. He wakes up in the morning and summons the rest of the world to its tasks. He cries, and someone comes to attend to him. When he is hungry, people feed him, and when he is wet, people change him. Very often, we do not completely outgrow that infantile notion that our wishes cause things to happen.
不要电脑翻译的~~

Answer 1

很多年前我有一个经历,它告诉我一些人的方式使一个坏情况变得更糟而责备自己。 某个一月,我不得不在两个中间的葬礼上两位年老的妇女连续几天内为在我的社区。 两人死亡”充满年”,正如圣经中所说;两人都被身体的正常疲惫而充实的人生很长一段时间之后。 她们的家碰巧离得很近,所以我花了哀悼(吊唁)打电话到这两家在相同的下午。

在第一个家,死者的儿子(已故的女人对我说,“如果我将我母亲送到佛罗里达,让她远离这里的寒冷和大雪,她今天就还会活着。 这是我的错,她死了。” 在第二个家,其他的儿子已故的女人说,“我要是没坚持要我母亲的去佛罗里达,她今天就还会活着。 那么久的飞机旅行,突然的气候的变化,超出了她的可以选择。 这是我的错,她死了。”

当事情不像我们所希望的那样发展时,我们就很容易去假设我们不那样做的话,事情可能会有一个更愉快的结局。 牧师们知道任何时候都会有死亡,而幸存者将会有负罪感。 因为他们采取的措施带来了坏结果,他们相信对立的流程—把妈妈留在家里,将手术延期—将可能得到好结果。 毕竟,还有不可能带来另一种更糟吗?

看上去有两个因素在我们的潜意识中会感到负罪。 第一个是我们迫切地要相信世界有意义,任何结果都有原因和发生的任何事都有理由。 这导致我们去找寻之间的形式和联系,在那里他们真的存在,在那里只存在于我们的想法。

第二个因素是这样的观念,我们是所发生的事的原因,特别是发生的坏事。 好像是很短的一步,从认为每一个事件都有理由让人相信每个灾难是我们的错。 这种感觉可能的根源在于童年。 心理学家称之为全能的婴儿神秘(万能)。 一个儿童开始认为世界存在以满足他的需要,并且他使任何事在那里发生。 他在早晨醒来并且召唤剩余的世界到他的任务来。 他一哭,就有人来帮助他。 当他饿了,有人来喂他,当他湿了,有人来给他换衣服。 一般,我们不会完全脱离婴儿的观念,就是我们的希望导致事情发生。