Question

雅思大作文修改，请大神们帮帮我吧。

Q Some people argue that changes in agriculture such as factory farming and creation of new types of vegetables are positive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A
Nowadays, the debate of changes in agriculture development has become to a popular topic. Personally, I tend to agree with the opinion of the changes in agriculture are positive.
First of all, the new agricultural technology has brought people numerous benefits. For example, people do not need to work so hard as before physically as the machines can replace humans doing the boring repetitive jobs. Beside, the new created types of vegetables can bring people fresh fancy experience is another case in point. Additionally, a vast number of employment opportunities have been created for those well educated people. For instance, the factory farming need skilled workers to look after it and the new scientific agricultural ideas should be figured out by those professionals. Last but not least, the economy of the industry has been promoted as well. The new developments boost the market. In other words, people can buy vegetables and fruits more economically compare to the past age.
On the other hand, there are some concerns about these changes too. Some people may worry about whether the new types of vegetables are healthy or not as they are all artificially created and they grow up against natural law. Moreover, the people who short of knowledge and just work relying on their physical force may be facing critical difficulties these days. Because of the machinery factory farming, most of them might lose their jobs. However they still need to survive. Therefore, the relative government strategy should be set to solve the problems. (E.g. The government should supply specific training to those workers and the food safety inspections should be set and well controlled by related departments.)
Overall, I think we have to admit there are many advantages and benefits that the changes of the agriculture have brought to our society today. Although some problems still exist, we believe the government can work them out in near future.

Answer 1

Q Some people argue that changes in agriculture such as factory farming and creation of new types of vegetables are positive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A
Nowadays, the debate of changes in agriculture development has become（ to 省略)a popular topic. Personally, I tend to agree with the opinion of(of 改成that,同位语从句） the changes in agriculture are positive.
First of all, the new agricultural technology has brought people numerous benefits. For example, people do not need to work so hard as before physically as the machines can replace humans doing the boring repetitive jobs. Beside（Besides）, the new created types of vegetables can bring（can bring改成bringing，因为这句话有两个动词了，要么就用从句） people fresh fancy experience is another case in point. Additionally, a vast number of employment opportunities have been created for those well educated people. For instance, the factory farming need skilled workers to look after it and the new scientific agricultural ideas should be figured out by those professionals. Last but not least, the economy of the industry has been promoted as well. The new developments boost the market. In other words, people can buy vegetables and fruits more economically compare （compared）to the past age.
On the other hand, there are some concerns about these changes too. Some people may worry about whether the new types of vegetables are healthy or not as they are all artificially created and they grow up against natural law. Moreover, the people who （are）short of knowledge and just work relying on their physical force may be facing critical difficulties these days. Because of the machinery factory farming, most of them might lose their jobs. However they still need to survive. Therefore, the relative government strategy should be set to solve the problems. (E.g. The government should supply specific training to those workers and the food safety inspections should be set and well controlled by related departments.)
Overall, I think we have to admit there are many advantages and benefits that the changes of the agriculture have brought to our society today. Although some problems still exist, we believe the government can work them out in near future.

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写得挺好的，基本上没有什么问题

Answer 2

Q有些人认为，农业的变化，如工厂的蔬菜种植和新类型的创建是积极的。在何种程度上你同意或不同意？
一
如今，在农业发展变化的辩论已成为一个热门话题。就个人而言，我倾向于用在农业的变化是积极的意见表示同意。
首先，新的农业技术带给人们许多好处。例如，人们不用像以前这么辛苦的物理机器可以代替人做的无聊重复工作。旁边，新创建的蔬菜种类能给人们带来新鲜奇特的经验是另一个例子。此外，广大的就业机会创造了那些受过良好教育的人。例如，工厂化养殖技术工人需要照顾它和新的科学的农业构想应想出这些专业人士。最后但并非最不重要的是工业经济已推广。新的发展带动市场。换言之，人们可以买到蔬菜和水果相比更经济，过去的时代。
另一方面，大约有这些变化也引起了一些关注。有些人可能会担心是否蔬菜新类型的健康与否，因为他们都是人为制造的，他们对自然生长规律了。此外，谁的人，只是短期的知识对他们的工作依靠武力可能面临的困难，这些天的关键。由于农业机械厂，其中多数人可能失去工作。不过，他们仍然需要继续生存。因此，政府的战略相对应设置来解决问题。 （例如政府应该提供特别的培训，这些工人和食品安全检查，并应设置以及相关部门控制。）
总的来说，我认为我们必须承认有很多优势，对农业的变化引起了我们当今社会的利益。虽然还存在一些问题，我们相信政府能在不久的将来出来。
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