Question

请帮我把这篇英语文章修改一下语法及提下意见，本人师高三学生，英语水平较差，谢谢大家了，别笑我噢：）

是一篇关于合理饮食的讲演稿200词左右
Keep a good diet
Hello everybody! Today,I will talk about the importance of keeping a good diet. Following is my own opinion.
Because of the busy school life ,some students don't eat breakfast or like eating snacks during the break. Also, a lot of students eat too much.,so they become very obese. And some students have dietary bias .They only eat what tastes good or looks very nice.I think those unbalanced life styles can make people be prone to an unhealthy condition. Our bodies comprise what we eat everyday, so keeping a good diet is an essential thing in daily life. But how to do it?
In my opinion ,firstly we should have a great diversity of food. In the every meal we could eat rice,vegetables,fruits,meat,etc..so we can take in various nutrition that our bodies anxious need.Secondly we should eat a certain volume of food at certain time,and avoid devouring and irregular eating .So we can accustom our gastrointestinal system to what we eat. Finally, we'd better not to stimulating our stomach ,and avoid eating what is too hot or too spicy such as chilli and pepper and drinking alcohol.If you follow those advice, I think eating can be an enjoyable part of your life .
That's all .Thank you for listening!
谢谢了！

Answer 1

关于合理饮食的讲演稿
Keeping a good diet
Hello everybody! It' s my honour to share some of my opinions with you all, which concerns our topic today- the importance of keeping a good diet.(若背后有写上主题的黑板或屏幕，请现在指向它，向听众展示今天的主题。）

Since most of us lead a busy life in school, I bet many of you often leave home without breakfast, then during the break you choose the snacks instead. On the other hand, Some students eat too much and become obese. Moveover some even develop a habbit of dietary bias .They only eat what tastes good or looks very nice.

As we all know, people are easier to be prone to an unhealthy condition because of these unbalanced lifestyles. Our bodies comprise what we eat everyday, so it's essential to keep a good diet in our daily life. But how?（这样更口语化）

From where I stand(靓睛之笔), effective measures should be taken and here are some that I consider should not be overlooked(用上固定句式显得更有逻辑性). Firstly we should have a great taste of diverse food. In every meal we can eat rice,vegetables,fruits,meat and so on, so we can take in various nutrition that our bodies long for(用上词组更地道).Secondly we should eat a certain volume of food at a certain time,and avoid devouring and irregular eating, which allow us to accustom our gastrointestinal system to what we eat. Finally, we'd better not to stimulate our stomach(had better to后跟动词原形), and avoid eating what is too hot or too spicy such as chilli and pepper or drinking alcohol.If you follow these advice, I think eating can be an enjoyable part of your life.(最后这句挺好的)
That's all. Thank you for listening!
1、修改已在文中标识了。部分句式我做了修改，应该是改的更地道顺口，意思无改变，但请楼主按个人演说的语气再作参考。
2、如果要用Also 开头，就一定要加And 哦，因为also只是副词——eg, And also, ...
3、在句子间您注意用and also等连词很好，但除了这，其实还可以用even这个词，如第二段第三句，这是外国人很喜欢用的，可起强调的语气。
另外您还可巧用moreover, what's more, in addition, besides 等更好的连词，不仅能让句子更通顺，还能增加口语化的韵味。
4、总的来讲，思路不错，很有逻辑性。虽然我做了修改，但是在实际演讲当中，最重要的不是语法，而是语气，在交流当中是经常会有语法错误的现象出现，所以楼主可以不用太拘泥于语法。
演讲时最重要腰挺直，眼睛可适时看稿，但不能多次，切记与观众一定要有眼神接触，且不能只是场内一个方位的观众，每个角落的都要大致扫到。另外在演讲时，请注意语调要有重有轻，让观众听得出哪里有强调语气。
另外关于楼上热心网友所说的建议楼主少用We'd之类的用法，虽然他说的这个具有很多意思是对的，但事实上大多数英文小说中都是这样用的，外国朋友也都喜欢这样用，并不会影响阅读，只要注意语意使用就可以了，楼主可以放心。
英文演讲主要听的是内容和语音，大家的英文水平都是差不多的，请给予自己信心哦！
演讲时适时加上肢体语言，表现大方举止，那就更棒咯！望楼主有个美好的演讲。
以上均为个人长期经验，望采纳。

Answer 2

Keeping a good diet
Hello everybody! Today,I will talk about the importance of keeping a good diet. My own opinion is as follows.
Because of the busy school life ,some students don't eat breakfast or they like eating snacks during the break. Also, a lot of students eat too much,so they become very obese. And some students have dietary bias .They only eat what tastes good or looks very nice.I think those unbalanced life styles can make people be prone to an unhealthy condition. Our bodies comprise what we eat everyday, so keeping a good diet is an essential thing in daily life. But how to do it?
In my opinion ,firstly we should have a great variety of food. In the every meal we could eat rice,vegetables,fruits,meat,etc.so we can take in various nutrition that our bodies badly need.Secondly we should eat a certain volume of food at certain time,and avoid devouring and irregular eating .So we can accustom our gastrointestinal system to what we eat. Finally, we'd better not stimulate our stomach ,and avoid eating what is too hot or too spicy such as chilli and pepper and drinking alcohol.If you follow those advice, I think eating can be an enjoyable part of your life .
That's all .Thank you for listening!

Answer 3

Today,I would like to talk about the importance of keeping a good diet. (sounds more polite and humble) The followings are my own opinions.
Because of the busy school life ,some students don't eat breakfast or they like eating snacks during the break. Also, a lot of students eat too much.,so they become very obese. And some students have dietary bias .They only eat what tastes good or looks very nice.I think those unbalanced life styles can make people be prone to an unhealthy condition. Our bodies comprise what we eat everyday, so keeping a good diet is an essential thing in daily life. But how to do it?
In my opinion ,firstly we should consume a great diversity of food in our daily meal which include rice,vegetables,fruits,meat,etc..so that we can take in various nutritions that our bodies anxiously need.Secondly we should eat a certain volume of food at certain time,and avoid devouring and irregular eating .So we can accustom our gastrointestinal system to what we eat. Finally, we'd better not to stimulate our stomach ,and avoid eating what is too hot or too spicy such as chilli and pepper and drinking alcohol.If you follow those advices, I think eating can be an enjoyable part of your life .
That's all .Thank you for listening!

i find that you use the word 'so' consistently. Perhaps you can consider 'therefore', 'thus' 'hence' so that your speech will be more interesting.

Answer 4

(Keeping) a good diet(.)

Hello everybody! Today, I will talk about the importance of keeping a good diet. (The following are) my own (opinions).

(Due to a) busy school life, some students (either) don't eat breakfast or (they) like (to eat) snacks during the break. Also, a lot of students eat too much so they become very obese. Some students have dietary bias. They only eat what tastes good or looks very nice. I think (these) unbalanced (lifestyles) can make people be (more) prone to an unhealthy condition. Our bodies comprise what we eat everyday, so keeping a good diet is an essential thing in daily life. (So, how should we solve this?)

In my opinion, firstly we should have a great diversity of food. (For) every meal we could eat rice, vegetables, fruits, meat, etc. (this way) we can take in (the) various nutrition that our bodies need (badly). Secondly we should eat a certain volume of food at certain (times) and avoid devouring (as well as) irregular eating. (This way) we can accustom our gastrointestinal system to what we eat. Finally we'd(/we should) better not stimulate our stomach and avoid eating what is too hot or too spicy(;) such as chilli, pepper and drinking alcohol. If you follow (these advices), I think eating can be an enjoyable part of your life.

That's (/That is) all. Thank you for listening!

我认为您的文章写得不错，能看见您非常努力了！ =)
(会笑您的人们，他们的人格一定很差。。。)

1. 请不要用 "Because & And & But" 做句子的开头，那是很差的英语写法！ =) (除了人物角色在谈话之外)
2. 使用了 'either' 因为觉得您是在表达 "不是这个便是那个" 的感觉。
3. 其实 'life styles' 和 'lifestyles' 没什麼大分别，只是读起来比较快些明白。
4. 您使用了 'can'，这样读下去令人觉得您想说 "会更加" 的想法。其实也不用使用 'can' 也可以表达您想说什麼。 (这样您不想用 'more' 也可以。)

5. "So, how should we solve this?" 我想您是在表达 "怎样办才好呢？" 之前说了不可以用 'But' 做句子的开头，所以用 "那麼" 之类做开头会好些。可以 用 'So' 或 'Therefore' 或 'Well then'。 止於为什麼 "how should we solve this?" 因为这样比较明确您想表达什麼。 其实 "怎样办才好呢？" 也可以是 'What should we do?' (What should we do about it? 比较明确) 但是因为您已经表明了 "问题" 所以说 "如何解决这个?" 比较适合, 也使人容易记得您说了那麼久是在讨论 "问题"。

6. Anxious = 担心 / 焦虑 / 急於 / 忧心，您不是想表达这个吧？
7. 在 'and ' 的前面不要加逗号。
8. 请不要在句子里用多过一次 'and'.
9. 您说了"今天"，那便不是过去式所以 "those" 应该是 "these"。
10. 如果是写文章，把 "we'd" 做 "we should" (That's = That is) 是比较好的写法。(当然，Henry's, Mary's 之类的不用!)
当然， 您不想改也不是大问题，但请您不要忘记 "we'd" 可以是 "we should" 或 "we would" 或 "we had! etc. 哦！ =)
如果是在读出来或是人物角色在谈话这样写法是没问题。 =)

请不要比我长长的回答吓到了，您那麼努力才说明多一些。。。 =)