Question

英语高手请进来!!!!帮忙修改一段英文,直接翻译也行..

帮忙修改一段英文(修改语病,语法错误,把繁复的单词和句子简单化),直接翻译也行!!尽量没有语法错误,单词句子简单点,言简意赅最好了.
这是中文:

这是爱丽丝在很早以前一个夏日里的梦。在这梦的奇境里，白兔戴着白手套，毛虫吸着烟斗……疯了的制帽人和三月兔总是在喝茶，而红桃王后要砍掉每一个人的头…… 这故事很奇怪，可是，在梦境里什么都会发生。

也许你会觉得这样一篇童话对于我这样的年龄显得幼稚，不过，我觉得，只要保持一颗童心，一个精彩的童话世界便会出现在你的眼前，并且能让你明白很多东西。只有纯洁的人们才能进入那样五彩斑斓、天马行空的梦境世界，他们就是生活在美梦与想象中的天使，这里的世界总是那么新奇、有趣。就让我们和爱丽丝一起走进这奇妙的仙境吧！

这是英文:
It's the dream that Alice dreamt in a summer a long time ago.In that strange dream,the rabbit were wearing white gloves,the caterpillar were smoking a pipe...the crazy person who was making hat and March rabbit were always drinking tea.And the queen of hearts wanted to cut down everyone's head...The stroy was very strange,but everything could happen in dreamland.

Perhaps you will think such a fairy tale seems inmature to age such as me, however, I think, so long as keep a childlike innocence, an excellent fairy tale world will appear before you, and can let you understand a lot of things. Only pure people could enter the dreamland worlds of riot of color, powerful and unconstrained style like that, they are angels living in fond dream and imagination, the world here is always so novel, interesting. Let us come into this wonderful fairyland with Alice!

可能有些长,但是事关我的英语演讲啊!!大家帮帮忙!!!我的几乎全部分都悬赏出来了,花点时间,帮我一下吧!

Answer 1

这是爱丽丝在很早以前一个夏日里的梦。Alice dreamt this dream a long time ago during summer.在这梦的奇境里，In this strange dream,白兔戴着白手套，the rabbit/bunny was wearing white gloves,毛虫吸着烟斗……the caterpillar was smoking from a tobacco pipe......疯了的制帽人和三月兔总是在喝茶，The crazy hat-maker and the March rabbit were always drinking tea.而红桃王后要砍掉每一个人的头……While the Queen of Red Hearts wanted to kill everyone (cut everyone's head) 这故事很奇怪，This is a strange/weird story,可是，however,在梦境里什么都会发生。everything could happen/is possible in dreams.

也许你会觉得这样一篇童话对于我这样的年龄显得幼稚，You are probably thinking that it is very immature of me to be telling a fairy tale like this one.(Perhaps太中国化了,我觉得换成probably会更好一点.)不过，However,我觉得，I think that只要保持一颗童心，as long as I have a young soul,(childlike innocence太复杂了,young soul的意思就是年轻的心灵,也就是童心.)一个精彩的童话世界便会出现在你的眼前，a beautiful world of fairly tales will appear in front of your eyes,并且能让你明白很多东西。and can teach you many things.(能教你很多东西的意思和能让你明白很多东西的意思是一样的吧..呵呵..我觉得这样更简练点.不过你写的也很好!)只有纯洁的人们才能进入那样五彩斑斓、Only people with a pure/innocent heart can enter a dream world that is so colorful,天马行空的梦境世界，and is full of imaginations.他们就是生活在美梦与想象中的天使，They are angles who live in wonderful dreams and imaginations.这里的世界总是那么新奇、有趣。This world is always so intersting and appealing.就让我们和爱丽丝一起走进这奇妙的仙境吧！Let's go with Alice into this wonderful dreamland!

其实你翻译的不错,就是有一些地方(很少)不太通顺.我自己重新翻译了一下.不错你的真的不错.有很多地方我觉得你写的更好.不过有些地方我觉得我翻译的更简洁清楚.你不是说言简意赅嘛.

Alice dreamt this dream a long time ago during summer.In this strange dream,the rabbit/bunny was wearing white gloves,the caterpillar was smoking from a tobacco pipe......The crazy hat-maker and the March rabbit were always drinking tea.While the Queen of Red Hearts wanted to kill everyone (cut everyone's head) This is a strange/weird story,everything could happen/is possible in dreams.

You are probably thinking that it is very immature of me to be telling a fairy tale like this one.However,I think thatas long as I have a young soul,a beautiful world of fairly tales will appear in front of your eyes,and can teach you many things.(Only people with a pure/innocent heart can enter a dream world that is so colorful,and is full of imaginations.They are angles who live in wonderful dreams and imaginations.This world is always so intersting and appealing.Let's go with Alice into this wonderful dreamland!
中间不插中文的.可能你读起来会更方便一些.

Answer 2

It's a dream that Alice once had on a summer day a long time ago.In that strange dream,the rabbit is wearing white gloves,the caterpillar is smoking a pipe...the crazy hat man and the March rabbit are always drinking tea.And the queen of hearts wants to cut off everyone's head...The stroy is very strange,but everything can happen in the dreamland.

Perhaps you will think such a fairy tale seems too childish to a person of my age. However, I think, so long as we keep a childlike innocence, an excellent fairy tale world will appear before us, and can let us understand a lot of things. Only people with a pure mind could enter a colorful and dazzling dreamland world like that.They are angels living in fond dream and imagination. Their world is always so interesting and fascinating. Let us come into this wonderful fairyland with Alice!
祝你睡个好觉！

Answer 3

你的英语很好啊,自己翻的英语?我不如你了,as keep 是否应该改成as keeping,Wonder本来就有奇境的意思,似乎可以替代wonderful fairyland ,age such as me 不太通,可以改成who is old enough just like me ,"在这梦的奇境里"后面的排比句要用and 连接,中间逗号可以去掉,有气势点.pure people 可否改为naive people. 第一句dreamt 和 dream重复了,可以换成have.暂时这些,恩?

Answer 4

This loves the Li silk in very early beforehand summer day dream. In this dream wonderful boundary, the white rabbit wears the white gloves, the larva aculeata is attracting the tobacco pipe ......Insane makes cap the human and in March rabbit is always drinking tea, but hearts queen wants to reduce each person's head ...... This story is very strange, but, any can occur in the dreamland.
Perhaps you can think this kind of fairy tale appears weakly regarding I such age, but, I thought, so long as maintains a childlike innocence, a splendid fairy tale world then can appear in you at present, and can let you understand very many things. Only then the chaste people can enter such all colors variegated, the powerful and unconstrained style dreamland world, they are the life in the fond dream and the imagination angel, here world so is always novel interesting. Lets us and likes the Li silk entering together this marvelous fairyland! 。 以下四正确回答。

Answer 5

给你个完全对照

这是爱丽丝在很早以前一个夏日里的梦。
It's the dream that Alice dreamt in a summer a long time ago.
It was a dream that Alice dreamed in a summer years ago.
说梦的时候，就好像说故事一样，所以用a，不用特指，注意过去的梦用was

在这梦的奇境里，白兔戴着白手套，毛虫吸着烟斗……
In that strange dream,the rabbit were wearing white gloves,the caterpillar were smoking a pipe...
In that curious dream, (a rabbit was)(rabbits were) wearing white gloves, and a caterpillar(确定不是青虫warm?) was smoking a pipe…
注意单复数，

疯了的制帽人和三月兔总是在喝茶，而红桃王后要砍掉每一个人的头……
the crazy person who was making hat and March rabbit were always drinking tea.And the queen of hearts wanted to cut down everyone's head...
a mad hat-maker was drinking teas with a rabbit March all the time, and a queen of hearts wants to cut off everyone’s heads.
形容人思想用mad,形容动作用crazy，砍头cut off heads

这故事很奇怪，可是，在梦境里什么都会发生。
The stroy was(is) very strange,but everything could happen in (the) dreamland.
This story is very strange, but in dreams everything happens. 仅供参考，如果用过去时，意思就是现在看来不奇怪了。

也许你会觉得这样一篇童话对于我这样的年龄显得幼稚，不过，我觉得，只要保持一颗童心，一个精彩的童话世界便会出现在你的眼前，并且能让你明白很多东西。
Perhaps you will think such a fairy tale seems inmature to age such as me(the age of mine), however, I think, so long as keep a childlike innocence(这句%^&*), an excellent fairy tale world will appear before you, and can let you understand a lot of things.
Perhaps you do(might) think such a fairy tale is naïve for my age, but what I think is, as long as you have a child’s heart, a wonderful world of fairy tales would appear in front of you, and this, could sometimes tell you a lot.
will表示非常肯定，might表示有可能，do表示强调语气，也许你会。最后一句仅供参考，

只有纯洁的人们才能进入那样五彩斑斓、天马行空的梦境世界，他们就是生活在美梦与想象中的天使，这里的世界总是那么新奇、有趣。
Only pure people could enter the dreamland worlds of riot of color, powerful and unconstrained style like that, they are angels living in fond dream and imagination, the world here is always so novel, （and）interesting.
pure people纯人类
Only those people with pure souls could find that colorful marvellous and fantastic dreamland. They are the angels who have been living between the fantasies and imaginations. How novel and fabulous the world always is. 我用这几个形容词是英国人常用的，也跟意思很贴切，仅供参考

就让我们和爱丽丝一起走进这奇妙的仙境吧！
Let us come into this wonderful fairyland with Alice!
Just let us walk into this amazing wonderland with Alice (now). 词汇仅供参考。

主要问题是单复数，时态和冠词的用法，可以多参考些简单的故事书，词汇量对演讲帮助很大哦，我尽量给你做参考，可以不用的。

祝你演讲成功。

Answer 6

This is the dream of Alice Lane in a summer long ago. In this dream sky, a rabbit wearing white gloves, Caterpillar Xizhuoyan struggle…… Mad Hatter and the March of the rabbit always tea peach queen and the first to be cut down every person…… very strange story, but what will happen in a dream Lane. You may think that this is an age of the children for me naive, but I feel that if you have heart one of the highlights of the musical world will be in your eyes, and gives you understand many things. People can enter only as a pure capital of south, imaginative dream world. They live in dreams and imagine an angel, the world is always so strange here, it is interesting. Let us work together and enter this amazing Alice in Wonderland!