求英文话剧剧本，5分钟的，2－4人演的
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这是一版搞笑版的《孔雀东南飞》，你可以节选一场。
焦仲卿Johnny (J for short) 刘兰芝Lunch(L for short)
焦母Johnny’s mother (JM for short) 刘母Lunch’s mother(LM for short)
太守之子Mayor’s son (MS for short) 强盗Burglars(A，B&C)
J: Everybody says that I'm henpecked, but in fact, I'm as strong as a tiger, while my wife is Wu Song.
I'm not afraid of you!
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood. She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. All this I do not care. I only want her to be tender than me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
My God! Who can help me?
Act1
旁白：就在我们可爱的仲卿遭受家庭暴力时，JM已将这一切尽收耳底。
JM:I can!
Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?
L: I’m here! What’s up mum?
JM: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.
L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so brusque, so lazy……
L: But……
JM: Never interrupt me!
L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all
day long, cooking and washing. I have raised ten soft thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……
JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! Grandson! Where’s my grandson?
L: Oh, you want a grandson, don’t you? Go and ask your son. I’m leaving!
Act2
旁白：被婆婆赶出家门的兰芝一步一回头，三步两回头，无奈的回到了自己的家中。此时，LM正在家中跳舞，有请！
L: Mum, I’m back!
LM: You are back? Why? What happened?
L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM: See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor ,but you did not listen to me. Look at yourself……
L: But, mum……
LM: Never interrupt me!
L: Mum, I’m not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to.
LM: Nice girl! Just now, I met the mayor’s son in the market. He said:” If your daughter. Haven’t been married, I really want to marry her! “Now you are free again, I’ll go and tell him.(下)
L: What? The mayor’s son? The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood? What a silly thing I have done!(下)
Act3
旁白：没有了兰芝的焦家很快陷入了窘境，JM只好让仲卿将兰芝找回。听说去兰芝家的路上常有强盗出没。
A: Hey you! Stop and listen to us!
The road is built by me!
B: And I planted one tree!
C: If you want to go by this street---
AB&C: Give us all your money!
旁白：据可靠史料记载，当时，这把刀离他的喉咙只有0.01公分！
J: Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me! I’ll give all my money to you! Is 1 mao enough?
A: What bad luck!
B: If we can not rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C: I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan zhi next month. We can go and rob the wedding!
A&B: Good idea!
J: What? What? Lunch is going to get married? It’s impossible!
AB&C: Why? A pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!
J: But Lunch is my wife! We haven’t got divorced yet! I’ve got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? I’ll go with you. You take the money and I take the bride.
B: Have you got any experience?
J: No. But I’ve got this!
Act4
旁白：转眼已到了婚礼之期．太守之子意气风发的牵着新娘，兰芝盖着红盖头极不情愿跟在后边。
ABC&J: Hey you! Stop and listen to us!
A: The road is built by me!
B: And I planted one tree.
C: If you want to go by this street---
ABC＆J: Give us all your money!
L: Johnny! I miss you so much!
MS: Who are you and where are you from? Who rob my bride will be killed!
J: How dare you beat my wife! I will kill you!
J: Honey, how are you?
L: I hurt a lot!
J: Don’t cry baby. Eat this at once! I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L: Wait for me!
焦仲卿Johnny (J for short) 刘兰芝Lunch(L for short)
焦母Johnny’s mother (JM for short) 刘母Lunch’s mother(LM for short)
太守之子Mayor’s son (MS for short) 强盗Burglars(A，B&C)
J: Everybody says that I'm henpecked, but in fact, I'm as strong as a tiger, while my wife is Wu Song.
I'm not afraid of you!
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood. She is braver than me, smarter than me and stronger than me. All this I do not care. I only want her to be tender than me. But she is not! Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
My God! Who can help me?
Act1
旁白：就在我们可爱的仲卿遭受家庭暴力时，JM已将这一切尽收耳底。
JM:I can!
Lunch! Lunch! Where are you?
L: I’m here! What’s up mum?
JM: I’ve told you again and again that you should call me "my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law”.
L: OK. My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?
JM: Since you married my son you have behaved so badly. You have been so rude, so brusque, so lazy……
L: But……
JM: Never interrupt me!
L: Never interrupt me! Since I married your son, that terrible Johnny, I have been working hard all
day long, cooking and washing. I have raised ten soft thousands of pigs and ducks and chicken and……
JM: But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson! Grandson! Where’s my grandson?
L: Oh, you want a grandson, don’t you? Go and ask your son. I’m leaving!
Act2
旁白：被婆婆赶出家门的兰芝一步一回头，三步两回头，无奈的回到了自己的家中。此时，LM正在家中跳舞，有请！
L: Mum, I’m back!
LM: You are back? Why? What happened?
L: I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM: See! I have already told you! When you insisted on marrying that terrible Johnny, I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor ,but you did not listen to me. Look at yourself……
L: But, mum……
LM: Never interrupt me!
L: Mum, I’m not interrupting you. I just want to tell you that you are always right OK? And I’ll marry whom ever you want me to.
LM: Nice girl! Just now, I met the mayor’s son in the market. He said:” If your daughter. Haven’t been married, I really want to marry her! “Now you are free again, I’ll go and tell him.(下)
L: What? The mayor’s son? The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood? What a silly thing I have done!(下)
Act3
旁白：没有了兰芝的焦家很快陷入了窘境，JM只好让仲卿将兰芝找回。听说去兰芝家的路上常有强盗出没。
A: Hey you! Stop and listen to us!
The road is built by me!
B: And I planted one tree!
C: If you want to go by this street---
AB&C: Give us all your money!
旁白：据可靠史料记载，当时，这把刀离他的喉咙只有0.01公分！
J: Don’t kill me! Don’t kill me! I’ll give all my money to you! Is 1 mao enough?
A: What bad luck!
B: If we can not rob any money today, we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C: I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan zhi next month. We can go and rob the wedding!
A&B: Good idea!
J: What? What? Lunch is going to get married? It’s impossible!
AB&C: Why? A pretty girl and a rich man, what a good couple!
J: But Lunch is my wife! We haven’t got divorced yet! I’ve got an idea! You are going to rob the wedding, don’t you? I’ll go with you. You take the money and I take the bride.
B: Have you got any experience?
J: No. But I’ve got this!
Act4
旁白：转眼已到了婚礼之期．太守之子意气风发的牵着新娘，兰芝盖着红盖头极不情愿跟在后边。
ABC&J: Hey you! Stop and listen to us!
A: The road is built by me!
B: And I planted one tree.
C: If you want to go by this street---
ABC＆J: Give us all your money!
L: Johnny! I miss you so much!
MS: Who are you and where are you from? Who rob my bride will be killed!
J: How dare you beat my wife! I will kill you!
J: Honey, how are you?
L: I hurt a lot!
J: Don’t cry baby. Eat this at once! I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L: Wait for me!
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拜托哦~~我查得很辛苦的好伐`~
不给分对不起我哦
我写的英文小剧本__一起等待 2007-05-11 01:05:13
大 中 小
口语老师让演个什么剧，我写了个阿甘和陌生丑女人在公园各自等网友的一个故事。我演了那个丑女人。第一次排的时候我们笑得都不行了。托赖同组的明星演员们，效果很好 听说是让老师笑得最厉害的一组。爽歪歪
先要赞一个同组战友们演得太棒了，特别是客窜了跳baby one more time 和演梦露的两组，我们一致提名她和唐僧一起角逐最佳女主角。哦剧本拼写错误没矫正，随它去吧，反正我也是有拼写障碍的人。
一起等待
音乐（阿甘），羽毛飘（一人扇），阿甘和丑女人坐在长椅上。
甘：my mama always says, lift is like a box of chop sticks, you will never know what you are gonna get. (膝上放着一盒筷子，大小长短不一，拿出来展示) the long ones? The pink ones ? or the boring ones? Do you like some?
丑：（讨厌地）no~~! thank you!.(抬手看表，焦急)
甘: what are you doing here in this park? Are you expecting some one?
丑：yes, I’m on a date with a really great guy. Now I’m waiting for him.
甘：ha, me too. I’m expecting my fri- my girl firend, who is really a gorgous.
丑：（不相信地）well, good for you.
甘：frankly speaking, I’m a little nervers. I really hope she will like me. (擦汗)
丑：wait, didn’t you know each other ?
甘：no, we are cyber lovers. We fell in love on the chat room, and today it’s our first date off the net.
丑：（吓得跳起来）me too! I’m expecting my cyber lover either! For the first time!
甘：oh no!~
丑：are you Mr. Big?
甘：no I’m not! ! are you cinderella?
丑：no!!! oh, I ‘m so released, we are not waiting for each other.(坐下放松地)
甘：me, too!. So you are dating Mr. big ha ? what is your nicky name on the internet?
丑：please call me sexy Rose.
甘：（上下打量，叹口气）ok, Rose, what is your Mr. Big like?
丑：he is amazing!(一字一顿地强调) he works for the top government,
想像场景一：
(一男进场，音乐杀死比尔，黑客帝国两人对枪战，一人中枪，一人胜利，拿出学生证，说：FBI) 二人下
丑：He once broke out of a jail with his sister.
想像场景二：
(sister: maicheal, you just go!
M: no! I can get you out of here.
Sister: how can we get out of a jail?
M: 撸出袖子，露出画的hello kitty: I have all the maps tattooed here. 指点着说：we get into here, following this way, to that door, then ,jump out of here, we will be free!
Sister: really ? can we make it ?
M: don’t worry, just follow me, Lincon.) 二人下。
丑：he promised me to take me to the sea!
想像场景三：泰坦尼克音乐起，两人做船头伸臂状。
A; oh , sexy rose , I love you!
B: oh, my Mr. big, I want to puke! 二人下。
丑：what about you? Your Ms. Cenderelle?
甘：please call me cute cute boy. I really love my cenderelle. She is as young as biiney spears, 顿一下，插入道before married., 再顿一下， twice.
场景四：放baby one more time. 女孩上，和着音乐唱。
甘：she is as sexy as 梦露。
场景五： 梦露裙子飞起来。梦露: wow, it’s really hot!!!!!!!!!!!
丑：不相信地说，really ? well, it’s half past seven now . where are they?
甘： yes ,maybe we should check out from the chat room director.
丑： ok.
两人各自打电话
甘：Hello? Yes yes . what ??!!!!!
丑：Oh no!!!!!!!!
两人面面相觑： 甘：the chat room director said my cederrlle and your Mr. big…
丑：接 …are not real people!....they are chatting msn computers!!!
共同：So we fell for love with two talking computers?!!!
丑： I have a idea. why can’t we just?
甘： yes, the two of us . we are real people , cute cute boy and sexy rose.
两人拉手坐下：
重复开头：
甘：my mama always says , life is like a box of chop sticks,
丑：you will never know what you are gonna get.
不给分对不起我哦
我写的英文小剧本__一起等待 2007-05-11 01:05:13
大 中 小
口语老师让演个什么剧，我写了个阿甘和陌生丑女人在公园各自等网友的一个故事。我演了那个丑女人。第一次排的时候我们笑得都不行了。托赖同组的明星演员们，效果很好 听说是让老师笑得最厉害的一组。爽歪歪
先要赞一个同组战友们演得太棒了，特别是客窜了跳baby one more time 和演梦露的两组，我们一致提名她和唐僧一起角逐最佳女主角。哦剧本拼写错误没矫正，随它去吧，反正我也是有拼写障碍的人。
一起等待
音乐（阿甘），羽毛飘（一人扇），阿甘和丑女人坐在长椅上。
甘：my mama always says, lift is like a box of chop sticks, you will never know what you are gonna get. (膝上放着一盒筷子，大小长短不一，拿出来展示) the long ones? The pink ones ? or the boring ones? Do you like some?
丑：（讨厌地）no~~! thank you!.(抬手看表，焦急)
甘: what are you doing here in this park? Are you expecting some one?
丑：yes, I’m on a date with a really great guy. Now I’m waiting for him.
甘：ha, me too. I’m expecting my fri- my girl firend, who is really a gorgous.
丑：（不相信地）well, good for you.
甘：frankly speaking, I’m a little nervers. I really hope she will like me. (擦汗)
丑：wait, didn’t you know each other ?
甘：no, we are cyber lovers. We fell in love on the chat room, and today it’s our first date off the net.
丑：（吓得跳起来）me too! I’m expecting my cyber lover either! For the first time!
甘：oh no!~
丑：are you Mr. Big?
甘：no I’m not! ! are you cinderella?
丑：no!!! oh, I ‘m so released, we are not waiting for each other.(坐下放松地)
甘：me, too!. So you are dating Mr. big ha ? what is your nicky name on the internet?
丑：please call me sexy Rose.
甘：（上下打量，叹口气）ok, Rose, what is your Mr. Big like?
丑：he is amazing!(一字一顿地强调) he works for the top government,
想像场景一：
(一男进场，音乐杀死比尔，黑客帝国两人对枪战，一人中枪，一人胜利，拿出学生证，说：FBI) 二人下
丑：He once broke out of a jail with his sister.
想像场景二：
(sister: maicheal, you just go!
M: no! I can get you out of here.
Sister: how can we get out of a jail?
M: 撸出袖子，露出画的hello kitty: I have all the maps tattooed here. 指点着说：we get into here, following this way, to that door, then ,jump out of here, we will be free!
Sister: really ? can we make it ?
M: don’t worry, just follow me, Lincon.) 二人下。
丑：he promised me to take me to the sea!
想像场景三：泰坦尼克音乐起，两人做船头伸臂状。
A; oh , sexy rose , I love you!
B: oh, my Mr. big, I want to puke! 二人下。
丑：what about you? Your Ms. Cenderelle?
甘：please call me cute cute boy. I really love my cenderelle. She is as young as biiney spears, 顿一下，插入道before married., 再顿一下， twice.
场景四：放baby one more time. 女孩上，和着音乐唱。
甘：she is as sexy as 梦露。
场景五： 梦露裙子飞起来。梦露: wow, it’s really hot!!!!!!!!!!!
丑：不相信地说，really ? well, it’s half past seven now . where are they?
甘： yes ,maybe we should check out from the chat room director.
丑： ok.
两人各自打电话
甘：Hello? Yes yes . what ??!!!!!
丑：Oh no!!!!!!!!
两人面面相觑： 甘：the chat room director said my cederrlle and your Mr. big…
丑：接 …are not real people!....they are chatting msn computers!!!
共同：So we fell for love with two talking computers?!!!
丑： I have a idea. why can’t we just?
甘： yes, the two of us . we are real people , cute cute boy and sexy rose.
两人拉手坐下：
重复开头：
甘：my mama always says , life is like a box of chop sticks,
丑：you will never know what you are gonna get.
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四个人的， 《恋爱的犀牛》基本可以了
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