Question

请大家给我的托福作文评评分

题目：177. A friend of yours has received some money and plans to use all of it either to go on vacation or to buy a car Your friend has asked you for advice. Compare your friend's two choices and explain which one you think your friend should choose. Use specific reasons and details to support your choice.

Spending the received money on travelling or purchasing a car is a thorny problem which could operated a fierce debate, with some claiming that it is vise to enjoy an unforgettable trip than wrack one's mind to choose a new car, whereas opponents maintaining an opposite idea that buying a new fine car will bring a lasting improvement to one's life. Since there are strong reasons for either option, I would rather balance the former idea with the latter for my friend.

Choosing a vacation is a good way to make use of the received money because my friend may has been tired of earning money and such a trip is absolutely a most effective method to make him soothed and relieved. Moreover, if the money is used to order a new car, it will urge him to pay unnecessary attention to the car advertisements or keep eyes on the bargain. This will no doubt bring himself more fatigue. It also provides adequate justification for this choice that my friend already has a car bought not long before. Another car seems not to be necessary.

To purchase a new car is also a reasonable use of the money received. Comparing to a short-time vacation, a car could bring a durable positive effect to his everyday life. It will provide more convenience for my friend to commute especially that he also has to send and pick up his little son. An additional factor is that adding with the car he already owns, there'll be two cars in his home so that he and his wife could drive respectively to cope with something happened far away at the same time.

In summary, the two methods all have pros and cons, so I finally come up with a compromised idea. My friend could use a part of the money to travel to somewhere not very far and use the rest to purchase a little but comfortable car. As far as I'm concerned that is the best settlement.

Answer 1

你写的很牛X，使我很怀疑你是不是30分钟内写出来的?语言长短句结合，文章句意表达，词汇丰富程度都已经很牛了。我个人表示你这作文要是30分钟内写出来至少TOEFL写作28分。从你写作，觉得你其他方面也挺不错，要是口语牛一点，直接TOEFL115分没问题了。

Answer 2

如果我是评审会给你fair吧。你这篇文章有些语法错，而且不建议采用这种中庸的观点，不是不让而是你的水平不到。我觉得你最好有一定倾向性，简单说说另一个也不错但不如第一个就好。

加油，你可以pia我我给你详说说

来自团队：科技英语强手

Answer 3

24分吧

Answer 4

59