Question

英语小故事小笑话，要中文翻译朗读，简单点儿，短点。急用~~~!!!

Answer 1

一人初上飞机想吐，空姐取一空袋，快满时又去取袋，并嘱咐“别乱吐”。
空姐待回来时见遍地都是，问其因，答道：“我见快满了，又喝了一口，周围人就都吐了……”

The beginning of a person vomiting on the plane, flight attendants take an empty bag, quick to pick up bags full of Shiyou, and asked "Do Luantu."
Flight attendants see everywhere are to be returned, regardless of their cause, replied: "I see the fast full, drank a sip, spit on the people around ... ..."

Answer 2

The Reason of being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?

Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost（路牌，路标） says, 'School -- Go Slow'.

Answer 3

痴狗子张金旭。