Question

一个英语小笑话，要求超过一百个单词

急。。。。。。。。。。

Answer 1

my little dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!

Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.

我的狗不识字

布朗夫人：哦，

亲爱的，我把珍爱的小狗给丢了！

史密斯夫人：可是你该在报纸上登广告啊！

布朗夫人：没有用的，我的小狗不认识字。”

Two Birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

Answer 2

A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad．Now，children， said she，has anyone of you ever made someone else glad？

Please，teacher，said a small boy，I've made someone glad yesterday．

Well done．Who was that？

My granny．

Good boy．Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad．

Please，teacher，I went to see her yesterday，and stayed with her three hours．Then I said to her，‘Granny，I'm going home，’and she said，‘Well，I'm glad’！
一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在，孩子们，她说：你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？

我，老师，一个小男孩说：昨天我就使别人高兴过。

做得好。是谁呢？

我奶奶。

好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。

是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊我很高兴！’

Answer 3

"I am in desperate need of help -- or I'll go crazy. We're living in a single room -- my wife, my children and my in-laws. So our nerves are on edge, we yell and scream at one another. The room is a hell."

"Do you promise to do whatever I tell you?" said the Master gravely.

"I swear I shall do anything."

"Very well. How many animals do you have?"

"A cow, a goat and six chickens."

"Take them all into the room with you. Then come back after a week."

The disciple（门徒，信徒） was appalled（惊骇的） . But he had promised to obey! So he took the animals in. A week later he came back, a pitiable（可怜的） figure, moaning（呻吟） , "I'm a nervous wreck. The dirt! The stench（恶臭） ! The noise! We're all on the verge of madness!"

"Go back," said the Master, "and put the animals out."

The man ran all the way home. And came back the following day, his eyes sparkling with joy. "How sweet life is! The animals are out. The home is a Paradise, so quiet and clean and roomy!