Question

雅思作文批改 求高手点评！最好根据评分标准给出改正及提高的意见，谢谢！

Nowadays , distance-learning programs are such common thing for us(the study material by post ,by internet),but some people argue that courses can never taken as good as those by attending in a college or universities in person.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this day and age .It is generally arguable that distance-learning programs plays a significant role in education .But in the meantime whether it is as goog as those by attending in a college or university in person . Some individuals may think that they are such common thing for us while other individuals may think they are not to good ways to acquire knowledge.As far as I am concerned, I am in favor of the latter.

To start with, it is obvious that the universities give chances to students that they can study in a wonderful atmosphere . It means that they can join groups and talk about questions together. In fact , it can help them improve their communication skills .But it is the thing which the distance-learning programs cannot do. Further , surroundings will affect students. Specifically, more and more universities have perfect environments for students who study in it . Students will have good feelings to acquire knowledge.As a matter of fact,students’ studying depend on the surroundings at most of times. Last but not least , there are so many activities that students can join in in the universities which can relax students.By that I mean, students can go to pub or dance after studying whole day which is a good way for students to share their feelings . But for the students who attend the distance-learning programs ,they cannot do the things like that.They just only can stay at home and acquire knowledge from the internet.

Admittedly, distance-learning programs are also good ways to study for the students who do not have time to go to universities . The reason is that these programs which students will attend make them save a lot of time to finish their own things at rest of time.Some individuals who do really have jobs or take care of babies find that they can do their own things and study at the same time . Despite that , sometimes it is unfair for other students.For instance ,some individuals may ues it to cheat as they can search the information about questions when they take the exam.It is unfair for the other students who also take the exam as they finish exam by themselves while except for them will cheat to get good marks.

In summary , I think all individuals can achieve good progress by different ways.Neverthless,it depend on that if these students try their best to acquire knowledge . If individuals only think about cheating or playing ,they cannot do anything wonderful all the time regardless of which programs they will take .As a consequence, studying is the thing that depend on persons themselves. Distance-learning programs or attending in a college are all wonderful for individuals if they do really want to acquire knowledge.

Answer 1

如果只想着聊天和玩(chat &entainment)，真~~积累点词组吧。devoted in ，你的wonderful太多了，individuals ，都是重复一遍遍，词语丰富度不够。wellbeing，
还有就是词的太简单。你是看到十天突破吧？看着结构是。还有如果是40分钟写出来的，还可以。6分左右吧Some individuals who do really have jobs or take care of babies find that they can 感觉别扭。

Answer 2

去新东方批改网 专业在线批改作文的

Answer 3

我不会