Question

我刚刚写了篇英语作文，请各路高手帮我修改，指导我下，谢谢！ 英语作文如下：

Safety
The Spring Festival is coming soon, so we should care about Personal safety.
Firstly, when we go out ,we should pay attention to traffic safety. Before we cross the raod ,we should obey the traffic rules, or else that is against the rules.
Secondly, when we stay at home ,we also should keep safe. If we are at home alone, we should not use fire. because we can be hurt by fire. Fire is dangerous.but Electricity is more dangerous. we should use electricity carefully.It is dangerous to touch the television with wet hand.
If we do every things carefully, we will be happy every day!

Answer 1

Safety
The Spring Festival is coming soon, so we should care about Personal safety.(so的用法。春节与注意安全无直接因果关系）
Firstly, when we go out ,we should pay attention to traffic safety. Before we cross the raod （是road,而不是raod),we should obey the traffic rules, or else that is against the rules.（or后面的话无实际表达意义。）
Secondly, when we stay at home ,we also should（是should also而不是also should） keep safe（keep safe应替换为keep safety in mind）. If we are at home alone, we should not use fire（use fire的用法不正确,英文中的用法为make a fire). because we can be(can be 替换为will be) hurt by fire(用it代替fire,因为之前已提到fire，这里可用指代). Fire is dangerous.but Electricity is more dangerous. we should use electricity carefully.It is dangerous to touch the television（television换做electrical appliances会更好） with wet hand.（with wet hand应替换为 with a wet hand 或 with wet hands)
If we do every things carefully, we will be happy every day!

Promoting Safety Awareness during the Festival
Spring festival is at the corner and it is still important for us to keep personal safety in mind in this moment. Firstly, we should pay attention to traffic safety. Make sure you obey traffic rules. Also, steer clear crazy drivers. Secondly, be aware of potential hazards in your home. Make sure that fire doesn't break out in the first place, which is the best way of practice fire safety. Besides, check all the electrical appliances. Best wishes on this holiday season.

Answer 2

The Spring Festival is coming soon, so we should care about Personal safety.
Firstly, when we go out ,we should pay attention to the busy traffic Before we cross the raod ,we should obey the traffic rules,
Secondly, when we stay at home ,we also should keep safe，too。 we should not use fire. because we may be hurt by fire. Fire is dangerous.but Electricity is more dangerous. we should use electricity carefully.It is dangerous to touch an outlet （插座）with wet hand.
If we do every thing去掉s carefully, we will be happy every day!
内容有点重复 少了点 不知道你是读什么年纪的 要求是怎么样的

Answer 3

你的问题在于词汇太过匮乏，不是should就是dangerous，让人看得不舒服。
The Spring Festival is coming soon--coming就有快来的意思，不需要再加上soon。而且春节快来了，与你要注意人生安全又有什么关系呢？这里你应该举出一些例子，比如燃放烟火爆竹，小偷问题，以及车站拥挤等。所以我们要提高自我保护意识。
traffic safety前面加the，raod 应该是road，we should obey the traffic rules遵守交通规则应该是每个人的责任，所以这里你可以把should改成must。
or else that is against the rules这句话有点罗嗦了，可以写成we must obey the traffic rules not against the rules。
If we are at home alone, we should not use fire. because we can be hurt by fire. Fire is dangerous.but Electricity is more dangerous. we should use electricity carefully.It is dangerous to touch the television with wet hand.这一段话的承接问题很大。首先你说如果我们一个人在家，就不能够用火了，可是你说的太过绝对，把一竿子的人都给打死了，难道中老年人都不应该用火嘛！
Fire is dangerous.but Electricity is more dangerous.你刚开始进入主题说火很危险，却一下子又说电更危险，思路未免转的太快，没有自然地有火过渡到电上。而且电不属于专业名词，不需要大写首字母。
It is dangerous to touch the television with wet hand。语法错误，而且你要说的是用湿的手去碰插头什么的，并不就是television。
If we do every things carefully。这里应该是everthing。
内容简单了点，而且一直在“危险”这个词语上徘徊，我不知道你是读什么年纪的，所以只是按着改了一下，可能有点难了。
如果你觉得英文写不出来，可以用中文尽可能地把他写完整，然后用灵格斯翻译家把他翻译出来，你再改一改。（这个软件比有道，google什么的翻得好一点，不会让你看了那么吐血。）
这只是没办法的时候才用的方法，你权衡一下要不要用。因为实在是教坏小孩子-_-|||