Question

点评一篇英语作文.一篇初三的作文，内容基本已经写完整了，希望找出哪里有语法错误，和需要修改的地方

Dear Li Hua,
I am happy to hear that you are going to study in Canada.And I have some advice for you.It's always a bit cold in November in Canada.So you had better take some warm clothes,or you will have a cold easily.You will live with a Canadian family.So remember some habits like these.First,you have to knock at the door before you enter someone's room.Second,when you need to use the phone,you should ask if you can do that .Third,be polite to other and talk with them if possible.If you have some important things,you must always carry them with you or keep them in the bank.It's much safer.Just take it easy,you will have a great time.
作文要求是这样的:我的朋友李华将要去加拿大做交流生,希望询问我一些注意事项.
上面是我写的作文,内容不要改变,希望找出不通顺的帮我修改修改,还有语法错误等.把修改的写出来.谢谢

Answer 1

我帮你重写了一些。我觉得原来不太通顺。你可参考，不然有些话真的太白了，而且没有礼貌。

Dear Li Hua,

I am really happy to know that you are going to study in Canada. I have some advice for you, my friend.

Canada has a cold and harsh winter so you'd better take with you some quality warm clothes, and take good care of you not to catch a cold.

Further, if you are living in a home-stay with a Canadian family, you should bear in mind some of their customs. First, always knock at the door before you enter someone's room.Second, ask before you use the phone. (拜托不要凑字，该简洁就要简洁).Third, respect others and be polite when you talk to people.

By the way, if you have something important, you can store them in a vault of a bank or in a locker.

All the best and have fun in the Maple Country!

Answer 2

first，you should knock at the door
you should ask if you can do that 改为 if you can do it

Answer 3

other 改为 others （be polite to other ）
have to knock 改为 ought to knock ( you have to knock at the door )
if you can do that 改为 if you can do it ( you should ask if you can do that )

Answer 4

have a cold 改成 catch a cold更好 Remember Some Habits 改成Rules更好.
when you need to use the phone,you should ask if you can do that 改成you should ask if you are permitted to do that.
Be Polite To Others Important things改成important stuff

写的很好!

Answer 5

我觉的吗。。。。。。好像没错。。。。。。