帮忙找几个有趣的英语小故事,演讲用的,不要太长

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tanchaooo
2011-03-27 · TA获得超过7317个赞
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0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really angery.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife went out and brought the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.
从0到200
故事大体意思:Bob忘了他和妻子的结婚纪念日,妻子很生气,让他明天准备一个礼物,并放在车道上,这个礼物要在6秒能从0变化到200.第二天早上,Bob很早就上班了,然后他妻子起床后发现车道上的确有个礼物盒,她把它拿进屋然后打开,发现是个体重秤。Bob自从周5就失踪了。
Only three doors
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
只有3扇门
大体意思是:一个飞机机长今天看到,在他这般飞机上有个新来的一个金发碧眼的美丽空姐。这班飞机中途要停一站,他对这个空姐很殷勤,带她去了当地最好的机务人员住所。第二天早晨,机长发现这个空姐失踪了,然后他就打旅馆电话问怎么回事,空姐哭哭啼啼的接了电话说:“我出不去了!这只有3扇门。第一个门是卫生间,第二个门是衣柜,第三个门上有个牌子贴着'请勿打扰’。”

A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement community. Everybody else is in their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,'Get the kid.'

这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有65岁的话,千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”

Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?

Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.

Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?

Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.

妈妈:弗雷迪,你的脸为什么那么红?

弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止一次打架?

妈妈:你做的对,谁和谁在打架。

弗雷迪:我和杰克·史密斯。
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