Question

【200分求助】雅思作文批改③。非常感谢。【方便的话可以另存为word文档批改后发到邮箱yasizuowen@163.com

【雅思TASK2 （大作文） 要求字数250】

【题目：Air transport is increasingly used to export fruits and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. Some people say this is a good thing while other people think it cannot be justified. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.】

【习作正文】【本篇共计310字】
Recent decades have witnessed the obvious trend of the increasing utilization of air transport to export agricultural products, which cannot be grown or out of season in the destination countries. With the consolidation and flourish of the global market, this issue has been taken to the public focus. Meanwhile, some people hold the view that air transportation of the likes of fruits or vegetables is a sensible option, whereas others stand on the opposite side.

Obviously, the speediness of the aviation carriage ensures the freshness of the fruits and vegetables to the maximum extent. Furthermore, the aircraft can reach a much more distant area, regardless of the terrain or whether it is overseas. Hence, more commercial profits would be gained. Accordingly, it can stimulate the agriculture of the exporter and ameliorate the living standard of the domestic farmers. For instance, in New Zealand, the kiwifruit is one of its biggest exports. As it is a island state, the majority of its export businesses lie with the air transportation, especially the agricultural products such as kiwifruits, which a vast amount of New Zealand farmers live on.

However, the air transportations also have its inherent drawbacks. To begin with, this type of transport fundamentally raises the cost of the agricultural products. Moreover, the increasing flights may aggravate the environment contamination. This is clearly because of the non-renewable resources the aircraft consume and the greenhouse gases that emit. Worse still, all these serious consequences cannot be compensated by the commercial profits from the agricultural trade. Accordingly, in the long term, the loss outweighs the gain.

On the basis of the above discussion, personally, I deem that using air transport to export fruits and vegetables is acceptable, but it should be in a more environment-friendly way. To fulfill that, people can adopt more low-carbon energy for aircraft. Therefore, the benefits will be maximized to a great extent.

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方便的话可以另存为word文档批改后发到邮箱yasizuowen@163.com
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希望能有判分、文章评价、

指出语法错误、

指出词汇及词组不恰当处并替换，

指出结构混乱或不合理处，

给出更自然地道的表达法建议。
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（上面的不一定都要有）
非常感谢，追加到200分
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Answer 1

恩写的不错 我看看

Answer 2

已发送：）

Answer 3

你好，很高兴为你解答：
我会修改好，发到你的邮件里！

祝你好运，取得理想雅思成绩！！！

如果你需要雅思学习资料和雅思备考资料可以在百度HI里和我沟通，我传给你~~

Answer 4

感谢创伤

上帝给予我们宝贵的生命，让我们来到这个多姿多彩的世界，由此，我们要感谢生命，感谢上帝。生命中不光有风和日丽，也有苦雨凄风。面对风雨，我们要坚信：黑暗过后是黎明，寒冬过后是阳春。

我们时时刻刻都有可能面临着创伤或灾难，只有坚强地打败现实生活中的残酷，才能真正领悟到生命的意义。每每遭遇到创伤时，我们不能闪泪光，我们要感谢创伤，因为创伤给予我们磨练自己的意志的机会；因为创伤让我们明白什么是真正的痛；因为创伤让我们对生命有新的认识；因为创伤让我们区分了强者和弱者。被火灼伤过，被冰冻伤过，你就彻底明白什么是火，什么是冰。被爱杀伤过，被恨刺伤过，就明白了爱是什么，恨是什么。人生永远不可能平平坦坦，只会弯弯曲曲，只有在拐弯的角落站起来，才能感受到人生的绚丽。

谈起创伤，让我想起了2008年的汶川大地震。 “救救我……”北川县城废墟上每一个微弱的求救声，却是一个个渴望生命的强音。在北川曲山小学的废墟中，12岁的月月的左腿被楼板死死地压住，小腿部分已经变成黑色，而在她的后面还有几个和她命运相同的孩子，只能靠截肢救援。截肢后20分钟后，月月被救援人员抬出废墟。月月被救出后的最后一刻，她问救护人员：“叔叔，我是不是最勇敢的？”……月月用自己的意志打败了死神，与死神擦身而过，她小小年纪就能真正明白什么是坚强，什么是生命。我相信，她经历过这一次的大灾难，在今后的生活中她一定会更爱惜自己的生命，会明白生命因伤痕痛苦而精彩。

感谢创伤，它让我们体会过疼痛；感谢痛苦，它让我们更加的坚强；感谢生命，它让我们经历过风风雨雨；感谢挫折，它让我们丰富了人生。

感谢创伤，它让我们在淡定中迎接属于自己的灿烂阳光。

简评：小草因为久经风雨,才有了百折不挠的筋骨；竹管因有了满身的孔穴才发出最美的声音；沙粒历经黑暗寂寞与寒冷的煎熬才有了引人注目的光彩；人因有了磨难的铺垫而站得更高。