Question

请大家帮忙点评一下 BEC 中级 的作文 我写的怎么样，谢谢啦

Dear All,
The reason why i whrite this letter is that I have just been informed that our company's computer system will be closed down, at 5 PM wednesday, to make an improvement . and because we will lose all the files in disk C after the improvement, we have to move all the files that is usefull to other disk.
After the improvement will could get a faster speed when using the internet, then we will work more effciently.

Best regards
Derek

Answer 1

第一句的话有点累赘了哦
可以用这样一个句式I write to inform you that ~句式更加简洁CONCISE
~will be closed down to make an improvement at 5PM wednesday.我觉得要中间来个时间的插入语，这样比较好吧。
we have to move useful files to other disks因为all the disks that is useful 过于繁琐没有必要
你的商业只是可能需要进一步积累，因为没见你的letter的原题，不好做别的探讨，但是中级要求letter120~140字内 你的字数不够
望取得好成绩

Answer 2

Dear All,
The reason why I whrite this letter is that I have just been informed that our company's computer system will be closed down at 5 PM on wednesday to make an improvement.
To avoid the useful files lost after the improvement, we will move all the files to another disk. This work will help to get a faster speed which can improve working efficiency. Total process will last for 3 hours. Please get ready beforehand.
Sorry for all the incovience.

Best regards
Derek

这好像就是我考试时候的题目么。。

Answer 3

Dear All,
The reason why I write this letter is that I have just been informed that our company's computer system will be closed down, at 5 PM on Wednesday to make an improvement ,the improvement will last 3 hours, and in case that we lose files in disks during the improvement, we have to close the local network during the improvement.Please get ready beforehand.
After the improvement you could get a faster speed with your computer, thus to work more effciently.

Best regards
Derek

电脑系统升级和C盘应该没关，网速主要取决于带宽，再就是针对系统升级让大家做的准备要提一下，其他都还好。