Question

请老师帮忙改改英语作文，谢谢！

Dear Robert,
How time flies! You asked me about my planning of my summer vacation in your last E-mail. I’m glad to learn that you are interested in it. Well, first of all, I’m going to learn how to drive this summer. You know, my father bought a car as my birthday present. Then, I want to take part in an English training. I’ll go to Beijing to watch the 2008 Olympic Games and visit the places of historic interest there. After all of that, I will visit my university and learn more about it.
That’s all of my summer planning. What do you think about it?
Yours LiHong

Answer 1

1.planning -> plan (可直接用plan的名词意义,可更简练)
2.I’m going to learn how to drive this summer. (是在翻译"我这个夏天将会去学开车"吗?)
我认为这样的翻译过于生硬,可翻译为 I will have a driving lessons this summer.
3.You know 这里与前面衔接不太紧密,学车与买了车有一定的因果关系,可以在my father前面加个because使文章更连贯.
4."the places of historic interest"这个词组用的很好!
5.What do you think about it?(你怎么看?) 比较地道的说法是: how do you think about it.
6.另外,你前面用了First, 后面应该适当加些Second, next, last之类的词进行连接.看上去会比较流畅!

总体来说还是不错, 不过运用得有些生硬喔, 建议多点接触英语, 培养语感和语言运用的地道性
加油~!

Answer 2

Dear Robert,

How time flies! You asked me about my plan for my summer vacation in your last E-mail. I’m glad to learn that you are interested in it. Well, first of all, I’m going to learn how to drive this summer. You know, my father bought me a car as the birthday present. Secondly, I want to take part in an English training. I’ll go to Beijing to watch the 2008 Olympic Games and visit the places of historic interest there. Shortly afterward, I will visit my university and learn more about it.
That’s my total summer planning. What do you think?

Yours,
Li Hong