Question

雅思大作文，求批改！！！

首先对您表达由衷的感谢，因为我的错误一定很多，用词和语法上也有不当，逻辑也不知怎样，希望英文好的，或者各位烤鸭帮忙看看，可以直接告诉我，也可以发我邮箱
woshi_xiaowanzi@qq.com
Topic: Technological progress in the last century had negative effect , despite its remarkable contribution to human society. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is nothing like the technological progress receive much of criticize or agreement. I still believe people benefit a lot from the application of science, which is superior to other problems.

No one can neglect what technology bring to us at recent in terms of the great
change in daily life. Tecnology are developed at a staggering rate when individuals could drive their own car or watch 3D TV at home or even enjoy the latest production from apple, etc. Also, technology progress takes us into a small world that everyone can be linked on the internet, at that time, our world become a village and computers are regard as a information box which contains tons of spots.

Technology already be used for people’s lives and the development of a country. For decades, the Industrial Revolution helps Britain became the first place in 18 century, which lead to the technology spread of the whole world, as well as with heavy pollution. From then on, technology always plays a pivotal role to judge for the position of a country. To be more exact, many countries consider technology to develop the arm force. For example, the breakthrough about space exploration and the application of nuclear resource always set a high place in a country. It seems that technology already be bonded to nation security as a whole.

On the other hand, technology also brings huge damage to our environment .Many factories just for the sake of profit and ignore the importance of nature, the abuse of chemical fertilizer on food totally destroy companies’ reputation, which already troubled most of Chinese. More seriously, nature disaster will happen once the balance in nature is broken by human. For example, earthquake in Japan leads to millions of people died, dramatically, one of the reasons is about the nuclear power station.

Overall, such beautiful and vivid life we lived should own to the development of technology and scientists’ devotion to technology programs. Although it brings us lots of troubles, we need try to keep balance of nature and spare no efforts to develop eco-ecnomy.

Answer 1

你这里好像全都是一样长度的句子，改改句子的长度，有些句子长，有些句子短，这样看起来才舒服。恩，就这样。望采纳！谢谢！ 6分

Answer 2

去淘宝找个外教修改一下吧，大小作文加一块才40,2—3天就能交稿，比你在这这么耗着要快捷多了，在这一般没人乐意改的。

Answer 3

不至于啦，个人感觉，你费了不少心思呢，不过用模版的时候还是有中式英语的感觉，稍后把修改版发给你哦

Answer 4

5.5 语法错误太多，且都是严重语法错误