Question

给这篇英语作文提点建议,找找错把

Toby’s bithday present
Last month, Toby had a birthday party. His parent gave him a presen. It was a mobile phone. Toby liked ti very much.
Toby thought the mobile phone can help him communicate better with other people. He can use ti when he is in trouble or he had something to tell somebody.
At the first, Toby only use it to call his parents. A few weeks later, he found out that the phone has many games. And also, he can send short messages to people. He can’t belive this mobile phone was so nice. One day, Toby received a short nessage from a strange person. It said: " Hello! Are you a boy or a girl ? Ha, you are a lucky person. My name is Jay. Do you know me ? I am very famous. I want to make a friend with you! " Toby was surprised, he liked Jay very much. He is Jay’s fan. So, he wrote a short message quickly. All the evening Toby wrote short messages. He didn’t do his homework. He was excited and very happy. Next day, when he was in calss, every students listened to the teacher carefully, but Toby didn’t. He still sent the short messages to “Jay” .
So,Toby played with the mobile phone every day. He can’t control himself.
This week, Toby had an English test on Monday. He didn’t do the test well, because he never listens to the teacher these days. He only got 51 marks.
After school, when Toby went home . He took out the mobile phone and gave it back to his father and said: “Dad, I’m really sorry. This mobile phone makes my grades really bad. So I decide to gave it back to you.” Toby’s father was sad and said: “This is a terrible present. I shouldn’t gave you, but I’m really glad, because you know to gave it back to me. As for your study, you should work harder and improve your English.” “Yes, dad. I will do my best to study!” Toby said.
It was a terrible gift, however, it made Toby learn a lot.

Answer 1

时态、拼写、用词很多都错误的
自己仔细改改吧~~~~

Answer 2

it不是 ti在第一段落第2行

Answer 3

Toby’s birthday present
Last month, Toby had a birthday party. His parents gave him a present. It was a mobile phone. Toby liked it very much.
Toby thought the mobile phone could help him communicate better with other people. He could use it when he was in trouble or he had something to tell somebody.
At first, Toby only used it to call his parents. A few weeks later, he found out that the phone had many games. And also, he could send short messages to people. He didn't think this mobile phone was so nice. One day, Toby received a short message from a strange person. It said: " Hello! Are you a boy or a girl ? Ha, you are a lucky person. My name is Jay. Do you know me ? I am very famous. I want to make a friend with you! " Toby was surprised, he liked Jay very much. He is Jay’s fan. So, he wrote a short message quickly. All the evening Toby wrote short messages. He didn’t do his homework. He was excited and very happy. the next day, when he was in calss, every student listened to the teacher carefully, but Toby didn’t. He still sent short messages to “Jay” .
So,Toby played with the mobile phone every day. He can’t control himself.
This week, Toby had an English test on Monday. He didn’t do the test well, because he never listened to the teacher these days. He only got 51 marks.
After school, when Toby went home . He took out the mobile phone and gave it back to his father and said: “Dad, I’m really sorry. This mobile phone makes my grades really bad. So I decide to give it back to you.” Toby’s father was sad and said: “This is a terrible present. I shouldn’t give you, but I’m really glad, because you know to give it back to me. As for your study, you should work harder and improve your English.” “Yes, dad. I will do my best to study!” Toby said.
It was a terrible gift, however, it made Toby learn a lot.