Question

改一篇英语作文 老师、大神进

随着社会的发展，网上购物成为一种新型的购物方式。请根据下表提示，谈谈网上购物的利与弊。
要求：1.必须包含所有要点，可适当发挥。2.字数80字左右，首句已给出，不计入总次数

Advantages Disvantages
方便（convenient） 看不见物品
24小时营业 容易受到欺骗（be cheated）
不用排队 不能享受与朋友一起购物的乐趣
、、、、、、 、、、、、、

Shopping online is quite popular in our daily life now.(首句，下面是我写的) It has advantages but also has disvantages.
The advantage of shopping online is convenient because the shops on the Internet are open 24 hours a day and yhe shoppers shouldn't wait in the line of people.
The disadvantage of shopping online is easy to de cheated because we can't see the goods.Also,we can't enjoy the joy of shopping with friends.
I think we can shop online if the things we want to buy are difficult to find and we can shop with friends if we want to spent free time.

满分10分，错一处1分，应得多少分？

Answer 1

It has advantages 1.and disvantages.
The advantage of shopping online is 1.that it's convenient because the shops on the Internet are open 24 hours a day and 2.the shoppers 3.needn't wait in the line 4..
The disadvantage of shopping online is 5.that it is easy to be cheated because we can't see the goods.Also,we can't enjoy 6.the pleasure of shopping with friends.
I think we can shop online if the things we want to buy are difficult to find 7.in the supermarket and we can shop with friends if we want to 8.spend free time.

错误之处已经用数字标出来了。供参考。
一般不会这样扣分的，作文都要按档次给分。满分30分的话，总体感觉你的作文应该得25分。
加油！！！

Answer 2

你是初中生？你写这篇作文完全是以中国人的思维来写，所以一看就知道有很多很别扭的地方。下面我照你文章的意思改了下，仅供参考。大小写问题你自己更正。
shopping online is quite popular in our daily life now.once you open your computer,you can see many people shopping online.
there are many advantages on shopping online.first,it is so convenient that we don't need to go outside to buy the things what we want.second,the shops opened online last 24 hours,so the customers can buy the goods any time and needn't wait in the line.but there also have many disadvantages on the shoping online,we (just see the pictures of goods and) can not see the real goods, so we will be earily cheated by the shoppers.on the other hand/also,we can't enjoy the time of shopping with friends.
in my opinion, we can shop online if the things we want to buy are difficult to find and we can go shopping with friends if we want to spent the free time.

Answer 3

总体上说，作文要点较全。主要有两大处错误：
1. The advantage of shopping online is convenient ... 此处不应直接用convenient，这个句子中“便捷”成了描述“advantage” 而不是“shopping online”,语义错误，建议改为：One of the advantages is that online shopping is convenient.（此处用One of the advantages，因为第一段说的是“advantages but also has disvantages.）
2. The disadvantage of shopping online is easy to de cheated...此处easy to de cheated应该是表示某人容易被欺骗，但原句的主语是disadvantage，所以语义不符合逻辑，建议改为：One of the disadvantages is that people can easily be cheated...
此外，还有几处小的语言错误，在此不再赘述。
综上分析，我认为这篇文章得分应在 6-7分范围。

Answer 4

错一处扣一分的话，
扣4分
1。The advantage of shopping online is convenient
2。shoppers shouldn't wait in the line of people
3。The disadvantage of shopping online is easy to de cheated
4。I think we can shop online if the things we want to buy are difficult to find and we can shop with friends if we want to spent free time.

Answer 5

去论文网找找