Question

请教英文翻译方面的问题，希望资深权威人士不吝赐教，万分感谢了！

下面是自己翻译的句子，有点长，有两个地方不能确定正确与否，还望资深权威人士不吝赐教！
1：not only……but also后能同时接几个并列的动词吗？
2：thus的用法正确吗？
原文：
通过创业不仅可以解决大学生自身就业的问题，还能扩大就业，加速技术创新和科研成果转化，进而创造更多的社会财富，推动社会经济发展，实现发展经济与扩大就业的良性互动。
译文：
Starting an enterprise can not only solve the employment problem of the graduates themselves, but also create more jobs, promote technology innovation and laboratory achievements conversion, thus create more social wealth, push forward social economic development, bring about positive interaction of economic development and employment expansion.

Answer 1

不正确的地方不止两处.

Starting an enterprise could solve not only the employment problem of the graduates themselves, but could also create more jobs and accelerate technological innovation and the commericalization of scentific reserach, thereby generating more societal wealth, promoting social economic development, and acheiving a postive synergy between economic and employment growth.

没有办法告诉你这么翻译的原因, 但是绝对正确.

----------------------------
By helping college graduates to start their own business, not only can it solve their employment problem, but it also help in creating more jobs, promoting technology innovation and commercializing laboratory achievements. As a result, it will create more social wealth, push forward social economic development and achieve positive interaction between economic development and employment expansion.

Are you kidding me?! "By helping college graduates to start their own business, not only can it solve their employment problem...." Who the heck is "it" that both helps graduates and solves the employment problem? God? That sentence does not correctly identify the subject noun; whereas "Starting an enterprise", as written by the original author, is a gerund that properly serves as the subject noun. It's okay to be wrong, but it's less okay to correct others and be wrong.

Answer 2

句子本身中英文不能直接翻译。英文一般不会使用无主语巨子，除非前后文联系非常紧密。
not only ... but also 一般用在句头，而且动词要重复用。Bring about 不是一个常用短语，最好不要用。Thus是很强烈直接的因果关系联结，例如我吃了饭所以饱了一类的关系。不适合用在这里。
By helping college graduates to start their own business, not only can it solve their employment problem, but it also help in creating more jobs, promoting technology innovation and commercializing laboratory achievements. As a result, it will create more social wealth, push forward social economic development and achieve positive interaction between economic development and employment expansion.

Answer 3

Starting an enterprise can not only solve the employment problem of the graduates themselves, but also create more jobs (and) promote technology innovation and (the commercialization of) laboratory achievements, (and as a result) create social wealth, push forward social economic development, (and) bring about positive interaction of economic development and employment expansion.

并列动词没问题，但是并列的最后一项和倒数第二项之间要有连词and。
我把thus改成了as a result，更清楚一点。
我还把你的“conversion”改成了“commercialization”，更符合语义。

更好的改法是断成两句：在“achievement” 后面改逗号为句号。另起一句话写，As a result， it create。。。

Answer 4

Starting an enterprise can not only solve the employment problem of the graduates themselves, but also create more jobs, promote technology innovation and laboratory achievements conversion, thus create more social wealth, push forward social economic development, bring about positive interaction of economic development and employment expansion.
我的建议是 1.but also后面是可以加一个并列动词的，create正确 promote最好改成promoting或用像楼上说的，改做and+promote
2.thus后用creating，pushing，bringing
3. 我个人认为conversion可以用，不过最好再加个动词 accelerate the conversion of laboratorial achievements （不好用laboratory）