Question

这篇雅思大作文能得几分？求批改！

A child's education has never been about learning information and basic skills only. It has always included teaching the next generation how to be good members of society. Therefore, this cannot be the responsibility of the parents alone.
In order to be a good member of any society the individual must respect and obey the rules of their community and share their values. Educating children to understand the need to obey rules and respect others always begins in the home and is widely thought to be the responsibility of parents. They will certainly be the first to help children learn what is important in life, how they are expected to behave and what role they will play in their world.
However, learning to understand and share the value system of a whole society cannnot be achieved just in the home. Once a child goes to school they are entering a wider community where teachers and peers will have just as much influence as their parents do at home. At school, children will experience working and living with people from a whole variety of backgrounds from the wider society. This experience should teach them how to co-operate with each other and how to contribute to the life of their community.
But to be a valuable member of any community is not like learning a simple skill. It is something that an individual goes on learning throughout life and it is the responsibility for every member of a society to take responsibility for helping the younger generation to become active and able members of that society.

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评语： 拼写很棒，可适当增加学术词汇的使用；文章衔接手法恰当；文中一些从句的使用为文章增色；请注意分段。