Question

各位英语高手帮下忙吧

这是一篇关于初音未来39感谢祭演唱会的配合PPT使用的演讲稿.本人能力有限只能搞成这样.现求各位高手帮忙挑下语法问题.润下色.也可以根据需求调整句子先后顺序.可以删减添加句子.(万分感谢)

Recently a special vocal concert was hold by SEGA company.

But surprisingly all the singer of this vocal concert was not a real person.

They were called virtual idols.
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and now let's look at this picture,

In this picture we can see a pretty girl names Hatsune Miku
who was wearing a blue vest and black skirt.

and who has long blue hair and big blue eyes.

she look very beautiful,and we can say she was

Although this sound very crazy,but she is the lead singer of this vocal concert.

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In addition,this vocal concert is used a new technology called 3d holographic projective to show virtual idol,
which may make the virtual idol out of screen and really stood front of us.

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There wasn't just one incredible singer Miku that on the stage in the concert.
在演唱会的舞台上，并不是只有一位像Miku一样非常棒的歌手。
Pay attention to the pretty girl with long pink hear,Yes that's right.Luka has been a sensational singer since the first time I knew her.
注意到那个留着粉色长头发的可爱女孩了么。嗯，是的，从我第一次认识Luka开始，她就是一个天赋凛然的歌手。
Len was wearing a the most beautiful barrette I've ever seen who you could easily pick up on the left hand side of the picture.
在照片左手边，你可以很容易就认出Len来，她带着的头饰是我见过最漂亮的。
Last but not least,comes our cute Rin with a pair of dazzling eyes in the color of azure which made him shine like a supernova.
最后（但同样重要的，这是英语的说法Last but not least），Rin出现在我们眼前了，他那双闪耀着光芒的天蓝色眼睛让他成为了一颗闪亮的新星（新星是宇宙中自己爆炸后极度闪耀的星体,英语里用来比喻那种闪耀着光芒的人）
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the vocal concert was extremely popular and all the 2,500 tickets were sold out in seconds.

What's more over 30,000 fans watched the whole live vocal concert through fee-vased internate at night.

Now Hatsune Miku has overtaken many Janpanese A-listers in terms(地位)of charisma and inflence.

But the great success of the vocal concert also rise a lot of debates.whether virtual idols could
replace the real human idols as a part of show biz.

last ,let's enjoy a short video cut out from the vocal concert.

Answer 1

Recently a special concert was hold by SEGA Company.

But what surprising us a lot is that all the singers of this concert were not real persons.

They were called virtual idols.

And now let's enjoy some pictures.

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The first one,

In this picture we can see a pretty girl names Hatsune Miku.

She is wearing a black skirt and blue shirt,

also blue with long hair and big eyes.

she looks very beautiful and seems like a (不太确定你要表达什么，可以加上一个你想说的名词)

As her charming and influence, she was the leader of this concert.

And now, she has overtaken many A-listers in Japanese with her competency.

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What's more, this concert is used a new technology called 3d holographic projective to show virtual idol.

Using this will make you feel that the virtual idol out of screen and really stood front of us.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
There was not only one incredible singer like Miku on this stage.

Look, the pretty girl who with long pink hear. Yes, that's right, Luka! She is a great singer, we can find her special when we hear her song. So pls have a try if you have intereste.

The next one, on the left of the picture, Len, she is wearing the most beautiful barrette I've ever seen.

And then comes our shining Rin, with a pair of bright and azure eyes. And this makes him like a new star in the show biz.

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This concert was extremely popular and all the 2,500 tickets were sold out in seconds.

What's more, over 30,000 fans watched the whole show through fee-vased internate(不太懂你想要表达什么) at night.

However, the great success of the vocal concert also caused a lot of argument: whether virtual idols could replace the real human idols to be a part of show biz.

We may also have the discussion after this activity, and now let's enjoy a short video cut out from the vocal concert.

我仔细研究了一下，稍微改了改，你参考一下，如果有不对的地方多包涵！
不过有一点一定要注意，这是演讲稿，所以词语要通俗易懂，不能生词太多，呵呵...

Answer 2

the vocal concert was extremely popular and all the 2,500 tickets were sold out in seconds.

What's more over 30,000 fans watched the whole live vocal concert through fee-vased internate at night.

Now Hatsune Miku has overtaken many Janpanese A-listers in terms(地位)of charisma and inflence.

But the great success of the vocal concert also rise a lot of debates.whether virtual idols could
replace the real human idols as a part of show biz.

last ,let's enjoy a short video cut out from the vocal concert

Answer 3

1.But surprisingly all the singers of this vocal concert was not real people
2.In this picture we can see a pretty girl named Hatsune Miku
3.this vocal concert is made by a new technology called 3d holographic projective to show virtual idol,
4.Although this sounds very crazy
5.she looks very beautiful
6.Len was wearing a most beautiful barrette
7.here comes our cute Rin with a pair of dazzling eyes in the color of azure which made him shine like a supernova.
匆匆看了一遍，不知可否.