Question

帮忙改改托福作文~~~~谢谢啦！！！！

谢谢啦~~~~真心请你们帮我改改作文··7月份要考试了，作文还没什么头绪。呜呜···我全部的分就这点了，不好意思哇！
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor!

Obviously, in most case the intelligent friends we have could be the good teachers of us in many ways. They can influence us greatly and enhance the ability of us. However it is not completely true to say that it is better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.
First of all, the intelligent friends have many good characteristics and they can perfect us. But not all intelligent people are good friends. As normal individuals, some of them more or less have some bad habits. To us, we always tend to unconsciously or subconsciously copy something from our friends.
Moreover, the intelligent friends’ are equipped with more experience than us. We can learn many valuable lessons from their experience. He or she could offer the wise advice when we are in face of difficult choices. Just like when we come to an unknown city for the first time, we need a tour guide. But in some centers, we are also limited by their experience. If we never make decides by ourselves, we could hardly be a mature man.
Intelligent people are sophisticated in the life, A deficiency of intelligent people as friends is the fact that many intelligent people are lack of common senses of humor, They pursue their benefits through manipulating the legal loophole., and sap the nation’s virtue by speculation and the desire for sudden , unearned wealth . Sometime they are just too clever to be wise and it could throw them into trouble and give a way to success. In a word, it is rather superficial to simply say that making friends with intelligent people is better!

Answer 1

一个很不幸的孩子，家境贫寒，而且父亲常喝酒，体弱多病的母亲又没有工作，他的物质世界和精神世界都是非常贫瘠的。每一个正常的孩子都是向往幸福、向往父母之爱的，可小道格拉斯的生活却缺少这些。而老师每天拉他的手送他走一段路，对于老师来说可能没觉得有什么特别的，然而对于一个可怜的孩子来说，这是莫大的幸福，这让他体会到了别人对他的爱，让他温暖。因此说“手”对小道格拉斯有“特别的意义”。
（2）这一段的大概内容：小道格拉斯很出乎老师的意外，画了一只手，老师明白了这是因为自己对他的关爱。
（3）人的一生总会有一些艰难坎坷，当我们身处困境的时候，对我们给予帮助的人是那么的重要。他们可能会在物质上给我们支持，也可能在精神上给我们鼓励，无论是哪方面的帮助，都是我们应该感谢的。也许帮助我们的人觉得微不足道，但对我们来说是莫大的幸福，正是由于他们的帮助，才使我们挣脱了泥泞，也驱散了我们心灵的阴霾。帮助总是相互的，我们要想得到别人的帮助，就要随时准备对别人伸出援助之手，这样在我们需要他们的时候，他们才能如约而到。在人与人之间的相互关爱中，我们才能得到快乐，才能体会到人生的真谛！

Answer 2

obviously ,in most cases intelligent friends we have could be the good teachers of us in many aspects.They can influence us greatly and enhance ability of us ,However,it is not completely ture to say that it is better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor .
First of all,the intelligent friends has many characters ,which can perfect us .We can learn lots of valuable lessons from their experience .He or she could offer wise advice when we are in face of diffilcult decisions.Just like when we come to an unknown city for the first time,we need a tour guide.But in some centers(cant catch what u r trying to say),we r also limited by their experience,if we never make decisions by ourselves.we could hardly be a mature person.
The intelligent is sophisicated in life.A deficiency of interlligent people as friends is the fact that many of them r lack of common sense of humor.they persue their benefits through manipulating the legal loophole ,and sap the nation's virtue by speculation and the desire for sudden,unearned wealth.sometime they r just too clever to be wise and it could throw them into trouble and give a way to success .In a word,it is rather superficial to simply say that making friends with intelligent people is better.
你好，写的文章不错，没有大的问题.有个别的地方修改了一下，加油啦。

Answer 3

语法完全正确 修辞不好

Answer 4

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It’s better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor!

Obviously, in most case the intelligent friends we have could be the good teachers of us in many ways. They can influence us greatly and enhance the ability of us. However it is not completely true to say that it is better to make friends with intelligent people than with people who have a good sense of humor.
First of all, the intelligent friends have many good characteristics and they can perfect us. But not all intelligent people are good friends. As normal individuals, some of them more or less have some bad habits. To us, we always tend to unconsciously or subconsciously copy something from our friends.
Moreover, the intelligent friends’ are equipped with more experience than us. We can learn many valuable lessons from their experience. He or she could offer the wise advice when we are in face of difficult choices. Just like when we come to an unknown city for the first time, we need a tour guide. But in some centers, we are also limited by their experience. If we never make decides by ourselves, we could hardly be a mature man.
Intelligent people are sophisticated in the life, A deficiency of intelligent people as friends is the fact that many intelligent people are lack of common senses of humor, They pursue their benefits through manipulating the legal loophole., and sap the nation’s virtue by speculation and the desire for sudden , unearned wealth . Sometime they are just too clever to be wise and it could throw them into trouble and give a way to success. In a word, it is rather superficial to simply say that making friends with intelligent people is better!