Question

请大家帮我看看这篇雅思作文，谢谢！！能得几分

题目：有些人认为所有的教育（包括小学、中学、大学）都应该对所有人免费，而政府承担所有费用，你多大程度上赞成？

Some assert that all categories of education should be free to all people. Various discords have arisen over that statement . Personally I disagree with it

The first point about this statement is that whether or not all education should be free . As we know, many countries worldwide have a Compulsory Education policy and the contents are various in different countries . Some may be free in both primary and secondary education, like China while some are only free in primary school. Residents have a right to acquire knowledge . However, it is impossible to be free in every stage . No charges during the period of primary and secondary education is a good way to boost the level of literacy, which promotes the development of society. Schools and government should ensure that there are enough facilities and staff available to fulfill this policy . Further education , however , is another thing. Firstly, it is unrealistic to be free in further education as it allows a great deal of expenditure. I doubt that if all the governments have enough revenue to support it . Furthermore, different counties have different social ,economical and political systems , and whether education is free should be determined by their own situation .

The second point : is it available to be free to everyone and governments pay it all? Governments have the obligations that let the citizens get right of education and it is reasonable for governments to pay for some parts of education fees, especially to those needy ones . But, residents ,who live in this society , have different statues and the amount of salary they gain is obviously distinct. Therefore, being free to everyone is unjust and will ruin the balance of society. For those wealthy ones, they can support themselves while for poor people, getting help from others( social funs, donation, free education ) is realistic .

Overall, if we study this statement carefully, we will find that there are some unreasonable points . Whether education should be free to everyone is based on the specific situation.
我之前考过，但是写作成绩不是很好。下次准备7月份考，请大家看看我的作文问题在哪？
1、能得几分
2、是语法问题？词汇问题？结构问题导致的我作文分低
3、接下来该怎么复习

谢谢大家了！！

Answer 1

题目：有些人认为所有的教育（包括小学、中学、大学）都应该对所有人免费，而政府承担所有费用，你多大程度上赞成？
Some assert that all categories of education should be free to all people. Various discords have arisen over that statement . Personally I disagree with it

The first point about this statement is that whether or not all education should be free . As we know, many countries worldwide have a Compulsory Education policy and the contents are various/diverse in different countries . Some may be free in both primary and secondary education, like China while some are only free in primary school/s. Residents have a/删 right/s to acquire knowledge . However, it is impossible to be free in every stage/level of education. No charges (during the period of ) for primary and secondary education is a good way to boost the level of literacy, which promotes the development of society. Schools and government/s should ensure that there are enough facilities and staff available to fulfill/exercise this policy . Further education , however , is another thing. Firstly, it is unrealistic to be free in further education as it allows/demands a great deal of expenditure/resources. I doubt that if all the governments have enough revenue/s to support it . Furthermore, different counties/countries have different social ,economical and political systems , and whether education is free should be determined by their own/specific situation .

The second point : is it available to be free to everyone and governments pay it all? Governments have the obligations that/to (let the citizens get right of education)这个句子表意不清，obligation to do sth// and it is reasonable for governments to pay for some parts/portion of education fees//tuition, especially to those needy ones . But, residents ,who live in this/the society , have different statues//status and the amount of salary/ies they gain is obviously distinct/different. Therefore, being free to everyone is unjust and will ruin the balance of society. For those wealthy ones, they can support themselves while for poor people, getting help/s from others( social funs/funds, donation/s, free education ) is realistic .

Overall, if we study this statement carefully, we will find that there are some unreasonable points . Whether education should be free to everyone is based/should be considered on different bases/ the specific situation.
问题补充：
我之前考过，但是写作成绩不是很好。下次准备7月份考，请大家看看我的作文问题在哪？
1、能得几分
2、是语法问题？词汇问题？结构问题导致的我作文分低
3、接下来该怎么复习

你好，如上作文给你在不影响你原意的前提下修改了一下，下面回答你的补充问题
1 这篇文章在6分左右，偏左
2 主要的问题是思维方式还是中文的，也就是常说的chinglish，也就是中式思维导致文章基本上是对中文的蹩脚翻译，比如学费在英文中就是tuition，而不是education fee。这就导致两个常见问题---词汇使用不准确和句型变化不够且不地道。语法问题不多，主要是小问题。所以你的文章很难突破6分。5分也是很正常的。
3 接下来你可以用半个月的时间多看优秀的范文，最好是按雅思作文的常见分类各背诵一到两篇，另外网上有个经典200句的文章，找到后熟练背诵下来。后面的时间在仿写的基础上磨练出自己的模板，再在反复的练习写作实践的前提下熟练运用模板和你先前背记的200句型，这期间也需要继续修改，最后一定可以提高到6.5以上。

相较托福，雅思还是蛮好准备的。继续加油吧。希望我的回答对你有所帮助，还有问题继续问。

Answer 2

90分肯定有的，95左右

Answer 3

good

Answer 4

一般了，

Answer 5

"0"