Question

一篇英语作文，帮忙寻找错误，另外，要起什么题目好呢？

Long ago , when I was a child ,an accident occurred to me, which changed my life.
It was a summer holiday , my father took me to my grandma’s home, where there were many flowers and trees . One day after supper , the sun hadn’t gone down . I was playing with my older brother . He ran after me , but I was fast enough that couldn’t be caught . I turned my head back to laugh at him at a sharp bend of the road. Suddenly, a car ran into me with a long trace and sharp brakes. I was thrown into the air and fell on the ground badly .The hit struck great pain into my heart so that I couldn’t stood up.
At no time came my father and I was sent to the hospital . I lay on the sickbed with my swollen leg packed with white bandage . The pain and the thought that I couldn’t walk any more made me cried from time to time .Fear and regrets buried me . I realized that carelessness would make irretrievable loss. I began to be thankful for what faculties I own . My father sit down beside me, said to me with a serious voice :”Boy ,come on !You should carry the ball ! It was your carelessness that made you hurt .You should be careful and responsible !” I wanted to say something ,but the cat got my tongue . Now, I think my dad was right . I should pay for my carelessness and be a responsible man.
During those blue days , I thought a lot . What if the car ran a little faster ? What if my head firstly fell on the ground ? I couldn’t imagine .The feelings when the car threw me into the air are still touching my heart .At that moment I realized the weakness of life and I haven’t achieved my dream.
Most of us take life for granted. We know that one day we must die ,but usually we picture the day as far in the future . When we are buoyant health ,we seldom think of it .So we go about our petty tasks ,hardly aware of our listless attitude towards life. But I have caught the meaning of life.
I will cherish time ,seize everyday and be not only a careful but also a responsible man.
After I was discharged from hospital after recovery ,I took a deep breath .It seemed that the air was fresher and the sky was brighter.
大家给起个名吧,我还得交上去

Answer 1

其实我不愿意这样给改错“改错”，但是楼上自己的错误也很多。另外，改错，如果没有错就不要改成别的用法，更不能改意思。

比如第一个，was就was吧……
二，run into是短语，撞上，陷入（情况），偶遇的意思。另外后面with之后怎么可能接动词呢。brake就是名词，“刹车”。
三，badly其实挺贴切，“以恶劣的情势”这个意思。
四，就算是两个谓语错误。。为什么要改成seated呢。。说不通，想不通。said前面加个and就好啦。
五，美俚为什么就不能用在作文里呢。。只是这句“对细节的处理比较直白”罢了。。。
六，你记错了。后面接原型表示的是另外一种意思：what if i failed...如果我当初失败了…… what if i fail...如果我失败又怎样？！这个意思
七，终于有个改的没问题的。
八，at要留下。后面的半句，你的感觉是对的，因为并列结构前半部分是短语，而后面是从句，所以在从句i haven't achieved...之前要加一个"that"。
九，must的确很恐怖，改成will吧。
十，petty tasks是“微不足道的事务”的意思。话说这只是你不认识petty吧。。。
十一，重复了不代表错。一般来讲，这样很难受，那么把后面的after recovery改成recovered就好。
十二，这个应该没错。感觉so that用的有点奇怪，如果要表达“如此痛苦以至于站不起来”的话，so拿掉放个such到great前面就可以了。

原文就不看了。话说，楼上你只是来搞笑的吧。

Answer 2

but I was fast enough that couldn’t be caught
was改成ran。而且这里为毛不用too to 结构？？

Suddenly, a car ran into me with a long trace and sharp brakes
这个into是怎么回事。。。车撞进你了么。。。还有那个sharp brakes。。。急刹车用brake就可以了，作动词

I was thrown into the air and fell on the ground badly
badly。。。用heavily吧

My father sit down beside me, said to me with a serious voice
把sit down改成seated，这句话俩谓语了

You should carry the ball !
美国俚语用在作文里是大忌！！！换掉！！

What if the car ran a little faster ?
我记得是what if后面用原形

The feelings when the car threw me into the air are still touching my heart
feeling就可以了，不用复数

At that moment I realized the weakness of life and I haven’t achieved my dream.
。。。。at似乎是可以去掉的吧，还有and I haven’t achieved my dream.这是啥？？从句？？

We know that one day we must die
will。。。must太恐怖了

petty tasks
是pretty吧？？

After I was discharged from hospital after recovery
两个after，重复了

The hit struck great pain into my heart so that I couldn’t stood up.
亲爱的。。。could后面加原形

PS：谢谢你，楼下，大公无私地娱乐了我，凭我娱乐大众的水平来看你最好再把文章仔仔细细看一遍顺便把题目也起好了，别没事揪着别人的尾巴不放。

Answer 3

没有错。ying guo wu di !

Answer 4

开头是否是long　long　ago　语法是不是过去式，短语是否正确！