Question

两人的英语笑话或小品[3-5分钟]

Answer 1

Feel Unhappy.心里难受

Son: Is it wrong to give anyone mental or physical hurt when he felt unhappy?

Father: Of cause, it is.

Son: Fine, now I am feeling so bad. I lost in two subjects this time.

Father(angrily): What? You------

儿子：是不是当心里难受时，就不应该再给他精神或肉体上的刺激？

父亲：那当然！

儿子：那好，这次我有两门功课不及格，我现在心里很难受。

父亲(气愤地)：什么？你……

It’s not that. 不是那样的。

A: I saw seven girls share one umbrella and none of them got wet.

B: Oh, that must be a very big umbrella.

A: No, it wasn’t raining.

A：我看见7个女孩共撑一把伞却没有一个被淋湿。

B：啊？那一定是把很大的伞吧！

A：不是，当时并没有下雨。

Compare other things？比一下其他？

Son: Mom, John has a pair of shoes with Gordon’s name signed.

Mom: You just care about this? Haven’t you compared other things?

Son: Yes, his mother is prettier than you.

儿子：妈妈，John有双乔丹签名的球鞋。

妈妈：你只关心这个吗？不会比一下其它东西？

儿子：有啊，他妈妈比你漂亮。

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,

Answer 2

逃生记
Don't eat me! Don't eat me! I'm helpful! 不要吃我!不要吃我!我是有帮助的!
Oh? What can you do? 哦?你会做什么呢?
I can cook a meal for you。我可以帮你做饭
I can sweep the floor for you. 我可以帮您扫地。
I Can wash the clothes for you. 我可以帮你洗这些衣服。
I Can do for you food. 我可以为你做的菜。
No! 不!
I can sing! 我可以唱!
Wolf Wolf you can't eat me you can't eat me! 狼狼你不可以吃我了吃我!
Why? Why为什么 为什么
Because I can do many things do many things. 因为我能做很多事,做许多事情。
But I'm hungry. I am going to eat you可是我饿了。我要吃了你
Right, I can run对了我能跑!
Oh, no! My dinner! 哦,不!我的晚餐!

Answer 3

1、一位中国留学生去到了美国，路上看见一起车祸。警察调查什么情况时，他答道：One car come one car go, two car pengpeng one car die。
2、还是这个留学生，一天他出了车祸掉下山崖，警察来营救：Hello,How are you?这小子一听，这还不简单,顺口就来：Fine,thank you!And you?结果警察就走了。

Answer 4

816