托福独立作文修改，马上就要考试了，麻烦大家帮忙修改一下吧~
TOPIC:Itiseasiertobeasuccessinthepastthanitistoday?Tobesuccessfulisnevereasy,nomatter...
TOPIC: It is easier to be a success in the past than it is today?
To be successful is never easy, no matter in the past or at present. The social condition is under no circumstance proved to be much comfortable in the past than it is today. Some people are convinced that it is easier to succeed in the past than it is today, but I refute that.
Among the disadvantages in the past is hardly to have access to new science and technology products. With few exceptions, there were devoid of media to spread information, such as TV or internet, indicating that people were not satisfied with knowledge accumulation. Therefore, it is hard for people to obtain a good condition and fundamental to succeed in the past. For instance, because of lacking in efficient communicating methods, Chinese people in the late 18th century never had a chance to know about the industrial revolution in Europe; let alone how to absorb the knowledge of new science and technology of the industrial revolution. In consequence, no one can deny that by no means it is easier to succeed in the past.
Undeniable though the difficulties that to be a success in the past are, we should never neglect that it is still not an easy thing today. Although the communicating methods today are considerably enhanced, making people more convenient and efficient to access knowledge, the drawbacks result from it is over the horizon. With few arguments, studies demonstrate that the drastic competition of job hunting is in direct contact with the growth of well-educated people. Because the occupations are limited, more capable people definitely lead to more fierce competition. Life abounds with such examples. Imagine you were an expert in programming language, hunting for a job about computer. You may find it is harder to get the job because the number of competitors might be much more than before. As a result, not so many people succeed as imagined in this day and life. Therefore, it is not easy to be a success at present as well.
Based on all the analysis above, we can safely come to a conclusion that whenever the time is, it is never easy for people to be a success. Undoubtedly, brilliant intelligence and well education support the opportunity to obtain success, but success is also derived from diligence and hard working. So, I think to be a success is always difficult to anyone, no matter when the time is. 展开
To be successful is never easy, no matter in the past or at present. The social condition is under no circumstance proved to be much comfortable in the past than it is today. Some people are convinced that it is easier to succeed in the past than it is today, but I refute that.
Among the disadvantages in the past is hardly to have access to new science and technology products. With few exceptions, there were devoid of media to spread information, such as TV or internet, indicating that people were not satisfied with knowledge accumulation. Therefore, it is hard for people to obtain a good condition and fundamental to succeed in the past. For instance, because of lacking in efficient communicating methods, Chinese people in the late 18th century never had a chance to know about the industrial revolution in Europe; let alone how to absorb the knowledge of new science and technology of the industrial revolution. In consequence, no one can deny that by no means it is easier to succeed in the past.
Undeniable though the difficulties that to be a success in the past are, we should never neglect that it is still not an easy thing today. Although the communicating methods today are considerably enhanced, making people more convenient and efficient to access knowledge, the drawbacks result from it is over the horizon. With few arguments, studies demonstrate that the drastic competition of job hunting is in direct contact with the growth of well-educated people. Because the occupations are limited, more capable people definitely lead to more fierce competition. Life abounds with such examples. Imagine you were an expert in programming language, hunting for a job about computer. You may find it is harder to get the job because the number of competitors might be much more than before. As a result, not so many people succeed as imagined in this day and life. Therefore, it is not easy to be a success at present as well.
Based on all the analysis above, we can safely come to a conclusion that whenever the time is, it is never easy for people to be a success. Undoubtedly, brilliant intelligence and well education support the opportunity to obtain success, but success is also derived from diligence and hard working. So, I think to be a success is always difficult to anyone, no matter when the time is. 展开
2个回答
展开全部
我帮你修改吧，托福写作要求不高的，我每次写作都将近满分
The social condition is under no circumstance proved to be much comfortable in the past than it is today.改为：Our circumstance is no better than the past.（你的太罗嗦啦，而且conmfortable不可以用来修饰环境，环境只能好和坏，环境舒适的英文是：confortable environment不是comfortable circumstance.
2 it is easier to succeed in 改为：it is easier to be succesful.感觉上比较好。语法上没错误。因为一般我们讲we succeeed而不是it is succeed.不太地道
3Among the disadvantages in the past is hardly to have access to new science and technology products. 改为Lacking of new science and technology creates large disadvantages in the past.
4 condition and fundamental 这里fundamental应该省去。我理解中文是想说什么，但是有些时候不需要这些并列
5no one can deny that by no means it is easier to succeed in the past.
这句试图写的华丽，其实过分复杂了。另外只有consequently没有in consequent这个词组。这句话建议改为：consequently,it is hard to be successful in the past either.
6 Undeniable though the difficulties that to be a success in the past are, we should never neglect that it is still not an easy thing today. 这句表达上问题很很大，我改为：Despising the hardship that preventing us to be successful in the past, we are difficult to succeed today in many ways.
7Although the communicating methods today are considerably enhanced,
改为Although communitaion developtment is accelerating,
8 Imagine you were an expert in programming language,（这句话结构不完整）Life abounds with such examples. Imagine you were an expert in programming language, hunting for a job about computer. 改为：For instance, if you are an exprert in computer science aspect and look forward to become an computer engineer.(首先an expert in后面加擅长领域，programming language不是一门学科，这门学科叫做computer science.然后我们可以说job hunting但是不能说hunt for a job.然后即便如此也不能说about something.我们可以直接说擅长哪个领域，想变成什么职位，比较直接明了）
9in this day and life常见的中式英语。其实你想表达的就是如今生活中之类，一般用nowadaus 或者at present即可
另外小提示，作文中尽量避免you开头，可以用we，但是你不能用you，对着改卷的老师，显得很没礼貌。
还有动词开头尽量少用，虽然我们英语老师会觉得句型丰富，很喜欢但是外国人很讨厌。
文章中转折词用的很到位，很有逻辑性。就是语句表达问题比较重，很多比较中式英语，希望多揣摩一下
回答的很幸苦，花了好多时间，希望对你有帮助
如果还有作文修改问题可以百度向我提问。
这篇文章还可以更加精心修改，比如语法没问题但是不够精致的部分，如果有需要也可以找我讨论，我几乎每天都会在线。
希望能被采纳，谢谢。祝你考试成功！
The social condition is under no circumstance proved to be much comfortable in the past than it is today.改为：Our circumstance is no better than the past.（你的太罗嗦啦，而且conmfortable不可以用来修饰环境，环境只能好和坏，环境舒适的英文是：confortable environment不是comfortable circumstance.
2 it is easier to succeed in 改为：it is easier to be succesful.感觉上比较好。语法上没错误。因为一般我们讲we succeeed而不是it is succeed.不太地道
3Among the disadvantages in the past is hardly to have access to new science and technology products. 改为Lacking of new science and technology creates large disadvantages in the past.
4 condition and fundamental 这里fundamental应该省去。我理解中文是想说什么，但是有些时候不需要这些并列
5no one can deny that by no means it is easier to succeed in the past.
这句试图写的华丽，其实过分复杂了。另外只有consequently没有in consequent这个词组。这句话建议改为：consequently,it is hard to be successful in the past either.
6 Undeniable though the difficulties that to be a success in the past are, we should never neglect that it is still not an easy thing today. 这句表达上问题很很大，我改为：Despising the hardship that preventing us to be successful in the past, we are difficult to succeed today in many ways.
7Although the communicating methods today are considerably enhanced,
改为Although communitaion developtment is accelerating,
8 Imagine you were an expert in programming language,（这句话结构不完整）Life abounds with such examples. Imagine you were an expert in programming language, hunting for a job about computer. 改为：For instance, if you are an exprert in computer science aspect and look forward to become an computer engineer.(首先an expert in后面加擅长领域，programming language不是一门学科，这门学科叫做computer science.然后我们可以说job hunting但是不能说hunt for a job.然后即便如此也不能说about something.我们可以直接说擅长哪个领域，想变成什么职位，比较直接明了）
9in this day and life常见的中式英语。其实你想表达的就是如今生活中之类，一般用nowadaus 或者at present即可
另外小提示，作文中尽量避免you开头，可以用we，但是你不能用you，对着改卷的老师，显得很没礼貌。
还有动词开头尽量少用，虽然我们英语老师会觉得句型丰富，很喜欢但是外国人很讨厌。
文章中转折词用的很到位，很有逻辑性。就是语句表达问题比较重，很多比较中式英语，希望多揣摩一下
回答的很幸苦，花了好多时间，希望对你有帮助
如果还有作文修改问题可以百度向我提问。
这篇文章还可以更加精心修改，比如语法没问题但是不够精致的部分，如果有需要也可以找我讨论，我几乎每天都会在线。
希望能被采纳，谢谢。祝你考试成功！
已赞过
已踩过<
评论
收起
你对这个回答的评价是？
推荐律师服务：
若未解决您的问题，请您详细描述您的问题，通过百度律临进行免费专业咨询
