Question

短篇英语笑话

帮忙啊~~~

Answer 1

The students in the composition class were assigned the task of writing an essay on " the most beautiful thing I ever saw." The student who, of all the members of the class seemed the least sensitive to beauty, handed in his paper first with astonishing speed. It was short and to the point. He had written: "The most beautiful thing I ever saw was too beautiful for words."

在作文课上，学生们被布置写一篇题为"我所见到过的最美的东西"的文章。在整个班级中看起来对美最不敏感的那个学生用令人吃惊的速度第一个交了卷。这篇作文短而扼要。他写道："我所见到过的最美的东西美得无法用语言来表达。"

Answer 2

The second opinion
The doctor to the patient: "You are very sick."
The patient to the doctor: "Can I get a second opinion?"
The doctor again: "Yes, you are very ugly too."

Nobody ever listens to me
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."

A Useful Way
Father: Jack， why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple， Dad.
Father: What’s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

Answer 3

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.

Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.

"Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."

Answer 4

-What's your name？
-Fuck.