【悬赏200】帮忙看一下我的英语作文(急)
一共3篇作文，帮我改一下语法错误，还有读起来有点别扭的也帮忙改一下，谢谢了。希望能改得好点。。英国外教老师批改。。明天就要交作文了，一定要在今天完成第一篇作文结尾好像太单...
一共3篇作文，帮我改一下语法错误，还有读起来有点别扭的也帮忙改一下，谢谢了。
希望能改得好点。。英国外教老师批改。。
明天就要交作文了，一定要在今天完成
第一篇作文结尾好像太单纯了，希望也能帮忙改一下
1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There is my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
第二篇有点短，能加点句子就好了
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
This is my favorite hobby. What fun it is!
3. My plan to do next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for my health. Usually I don't get exercise enough. So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to travel Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve my plans next year. 展开
希望能改得好点。。英国外教老师批改。。
明天就要交作文了，一定要在今天完成
第一篇作文结尾好像太单纯了，希望也能帮忙改一下
1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There is my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
第二篇有点短，能加点句子就好了
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
This is my favorite hobby. What fun it is!
3. My plan to do next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for my health. Usually I don't get exercise enough. So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to travel Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve my plans next year. 展开
12个回答
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.My family
Let me introduce my family. There is my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is to go mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he also enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house,and he usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. We all think the food she cooked is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university,and she is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. As we all know, we need to study very hard in order to get an ideal job, so playing computer can be consider one of my hobbies. Many people think it is not a good hobby, but I only play computer games at the weekend for 2 hours. I have the ability to control the time of playing it. My favorite computer game is "popkart".It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends, and i feel very exciting when i am playing it. Playing with friends is more interesting than playing alone. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
This is my favorite hobby. What fun it is!
3. My plan to do next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing because it is good for my health. Usually, I don't get enough exercise. So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to do it. My last plan for next year is to travel Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to pay more visit to Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve my plans next year.
帮你修改过了，有些语句表述不是很清楚，第三篇写的还蛮好～之后第二篇文章帮你加长了。你看一下满不满意？
Let me introduce my family. There is my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is to go mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he also enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house,and he usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. We all think the food she cooked is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university,and she is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. As we all know, we need to study very hard in order to get an ideal job, so playing computer can be consider one of my hobbies. Many people think it is not a good hobby, but I only play computer games at the weekend for 2 hours. I have the ability to control the time of playing it. My favorite computer game is "popkart".It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends, and i feel very exciting when i am playing it. Playing with friends is more interesting than playing alone. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
This is my favorite hobby. What fun it is!
3. My plan to do next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing because it is good for my health. Usually, I don't get enough exercise. So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to do it. My last plan for next year is to travel Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to pay more visit to Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve my plans next year.
帮你修改过了，有些语句表述不是很清楚，第三篇写的还蛮好～之后第二篇文章帮你加长了。你看一下满不满意？
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1.My family
Let me introduce my family. I have grandfather, my parents, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he lived with my grandmother. However, my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. He also enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a tea-drinking room in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious and we all like it. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to prepare for the university. She is good in English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby to you.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. They are very attractive to young guys. You find a lot of fun there and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. However, in order not to affect my study, I can only play computer games at the weekend. I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting than playing alone. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". We can share our joy and experience together after school.
3. My plans for next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First and most important is that I plan to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important to a student. I know I must study harder in order to get better grades for me to enter a good high school. Second, I plan to go mountain climbing for the goodness of my health. So far I don't have enough exercise. By going to mountain climbing, it helps to improve my body fitness. There is a small mountain near my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to go around Shanghai. I don't know this place very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I would like to go here and there of Shanghai to know more about this city. These are my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve these plans next year.
Let me introduce my family. I have grandfather, my parents, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he lived with my grandmother. However, my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. He also enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a tea-drinking room in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious and we all like it. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to prepare for the university. She is good in English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby to you.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. They are very attractive to young guys. You find a lot of fun there and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. However, in order not to affect my study, I can only play computer games at the weekend. I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting than playing alone. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". We can share our joy and experience together after school.
3. My plans for next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First and most important is that I plan to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important to a student. I know I must study harder in order to get better grades for me to enter a good high school. Second, I plan to go mountain climbing for the goodness of my health. So far I don't have enough exercise. By going to mountain climbing, it helps to improve my body fitness. There is a small mountain near my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to go around Shanghai. I don't know this place very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I would like to go here and there of Shanghai to know more about this city. These are my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve these plans next year.
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1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There are five members in my family which are my grandfather, father, mother, elder sister and me.(尽量减少累赘词)
My grandfather is in his eighties. He has only one in love, my grandmather, since the half of his life was companied by her. However, my grandmother had been past away for 5 years. Grandfather moves to live with us in case loneliness. （不要全用I，My等词开头）
My father is 47 years old. Mountain climbing is his favourite. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. He also enjoy drinking Chinese tea. Even a room was especially used for drinking tea in my house. My father always enjoy his tea time there.
My mother is a little younger than my father. (不用反复使用同一句式)She is good at cooking. She always wake up early in the morning and prepare breakfast for the whole family. The food has became delicious through her hands.
My elder sister is 19 years old who is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She likes studying English and does a good job on it. during this time, she must be preparing for the college entrance exam.
I am 15 this year. My hobby is playing soccer and computer games. (自己介绍的有点少)
I love my family.I am proud of being one of them.
Let me introduce my family. There are five members in my family which are my grandfather, father, mother, elder sister and me.(尽量减少累赘词)
My grandfather is in his eighties. He has only one in love, my grandmather, since the half of his life was companied by her. However, my grandmother had been past away for 5 years. Grandfather moves to live with us in case loneliness. （不要全用I，My等词开头）
My father is 47 years old. Mountain climbing is his favourite. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. He also enjoy drinking Chinese tea. Even a room was especially used for drinking tea in my house. My father always enjoy his tea time there.
My mother is a little younger than my father. (不用反复使用同一句式)She is good at cooking. She always wake up early in the morning and prepare breakfast for the whole family. The food has became delicious through her hands.
My elder sister is 19 years old who is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She likes studying English and does a good job on it. during this time, she must be preparing for the college entrance exam.
I am 15 this year. My hobby is playing soccer and computer games. (自己介绍的有点少)
I love my family.I am proud of being one of them.
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My family
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First and most important is that I plan to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important to a student. I know I must study harder in order to get better grades for me to enter a good high school. Second, I plan to go mountain climbing for the goodness of my health. So far I don't have enough exercise. By going to mountain climbing, it helps to improve my body fitness. There is a small mountain near my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to go around Shanghai. I don't know this place very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I would like to go here and there of Shanghai to know more about this city. These are my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve these plans next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First and most important is that I plan to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important to a student. I know I must study harder in order to get better grades for me to enter a good high school. Second, I plan to go mountain climbing for the goodness of my health. So far I don't have enough exercise. By going to mountain climbing, it helps to improve my body fitness. There is a small mountain near my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to go around Shanghai. I don't know this place very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I would like to go here and there of Shanghai to know more about this city. These are my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve these plans next year.
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写的很好，就是缺个尾巴，三大段好的分
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