【悬赏200】帮忙看一下我的英语作文(急)
一共3篇作文，帮我改一下语法错误，还有读起来有点别扭的也帮忙改一下，谢谢了。希望能改得好点。。英国外教老师批改。。明天就要交作文了，一定要在今天完成第一篇作文结尾好像太单...
一共3篇作文，帮我改一下语法错误，还有读起来有点别扭的也帮忙改一下，谢谢了。
希望能改得好点。。英国外教老师批改。。
明天就要交作文了，一定要在今天完成
第一篇作文结尾好像太单纯了，希望也能帮忙改一下
1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There is my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
第二篇有点短，能加点句子就好了
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
This is my favorite hobby. What fun it is!
3. My plan to do next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for my health. Usually I don't get exercise enough. So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to travel Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve my plans next year. 展开
希望能改得好点。。英国外教老师批改。。
明天就要交作文了，一定要在今天完成
第一篇作文结尾好像太单纯了，希望也能帮忙改一下
1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There is my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
第二篇有点短，能加点句子就好了
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
This is my favorite hobby. What fun it is!
3. My plan to do next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for my health. Usually I don't get exercise enough. So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to travel Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve my plans next year. 展开
12个回答
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1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There are five people in my family. They are my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It has a lot of fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. These days more and more people in my class have started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
The very reason I like the computer games is that it is not easy to make any progress in the game. Wheneve I made great progress in it ,I was wild with joy. And my friends also shared my happiness and I shared theirs.
This is my favorite hobby. I enjoy it very much and can relax myself by it!
3. My Plan for the Next Year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for the next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of my middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good senior high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for the sake of my health. Usually I don't get enough exercise . So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for the next year is to travel around Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel around Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for the next year.
I hope I can fulfill my plans next year.
（已对部分错误做了修改，并增加些内容。说实话，你的作文还是写得不错的。）
（英语牛人团一英语教师）
Let me introduce my family. There are five people in my family. They are my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It has a lot of fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. These days more and more people in my class have started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
The very reason I like the computer games is that it is not easy to make any progress in the game. Wheneve I made great progress in it ,I was wild with joy. And my friends also shared my happiness and I shared theirs.
This is my favorite hobby. I enjoy it very much and can relax myself by it!
3. My Plan for the Next Year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for the next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of my middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good senior high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for the sake of my health. Usually I don't get enough exercise . So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for the next year is to travel around Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel around Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for the next year.
I hope I can fulfill my plans next year.
（已对部分错误做了修改，并增加些内容。说实话，你的作文还是写得不错的。）
（英语牛人团一英语教师）
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The Influence of Television and Movies
There is no doubt that watching television and movies can influence the way that people behave. Moreover， it seems that people are spending more and more time watching some sort of visual entertainment， whether it is television， a video tape or a DVD. Therefore， the effects of visual media cannot be ignored.
One obvious effect of these media is that watching them induces people to buy certain products. Television advertising is widespread and， nowadays， even movie theaters permit advertisements. Another way TV and the movies affect people is that they give people either a broader view of the world or a distorted one， depending on what type of program they watch. Those who watch news and educational program can learn many new things while those who watch primarily entertainment shows may come to believe that most people in the world possess great wealth and good looks. It may make them become dissatisfied with their own lives. Finally， perhaps the most susceptible viewers are children， who may be unable to tell fact from fiction and may try to imitate acts that they see on TV or in the movies.
With the ever-increasing popularity of video entertainment， society must pay attention to these effects. Television and movies， while entertaining and informative， cannot take the place of real experience.
There is no doubt that watching television and movies can influence the way that people behave. Moreover， it seems that people are spending more and more time watching some sort of visual entertainment， whether it is television， a video tape or a DVD. Therefore， the effects of visual media cannot be ignored.
One obvious effect of these media is that watching them induces people to buy certain products. Television advertising is widespread and， nowadays， even movie theaters permit advertisements. Another way TV and the movies affect people is that they give people either a broader view of the world or a distorted one， depending on what type of program they watch. Those who watch news and educational program can learn many new things while those who watch primarily entertainment shows may come to believe that most people in the world possess great wealth and good looks. It may make them become dissatisfied with their own lives. Finally， perhaps the most susceptible viewers are children， who may be unable to tell fact from fiction and may try to imitate acts that they see on TV or in the movies.
With the ever-increasing popularity of video entertainment， society must pay attention to these effects. Television and movies， while entertaining and informative， cannot take the place of real experience.
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1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There is my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is climbing mountains. He climbs mountains with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
Let me introduce my family. There is my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is climbing mountains. He climbs mountains with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
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1.My family
Let me introduce my family. I have grandfather, my parents, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he lived with my grandmother. However, my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. He also enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a tea-drinking room in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious and we all like it. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to prepare for the university. She is good in English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby to you.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. They are very attractive to young guys. You find a lot of fun there and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. However, in order not to affect my study, I can only play computer games at the weekend. I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting than playing alone. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". We can share our joy and experience together after school.
3. My plans for next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First and most important is that I plan to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important to a student. I know I must study harder in order to get better grades for me to enter a good high school. Second, I plan to go mountain climbing for the goodness of my health. So far I don't have enough exercise. By going to mountain climbing, it helps to improve my body fitness. There is a small mountain near my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to go around Shanghai. I don't know this place very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I would like to go here and there of Shanghai to know more about this city. These are my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve these plans next year.
回答完毕。权威作答。
Let me introduce my family. I have grandfather, my parents, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he lived with my grandmother. However, my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. He also enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a tea-drinking room in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up early in the morning to prepare breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious and we all like it. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to prepare for the university. She is good in English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby to you.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. They are very attractive to young guys. You find a lot of fun there and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. However, in order not to affect my study, I can only play computer games at the weekend. I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting than playing alone. In these days more and more people in my class started to play "popkart". We can share our joy and experience together after school.
3. My plans for next year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First and most important is that I plan to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important to a student. I know I must study harder in order to get better grades for me to enter a good high school. Second, I plan to go mountain climbing for the goodness of my health. So far I don't have enough exercise. By going to mountain climbing, it helps to improve my body fitness. There is a small mountain near my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for next year is to go around Shanghai. I don't know this place very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I would like to go here and there of Shanghai to know more about this city. These are my plans for next year.
I hope I can achieve these plans next year.
回答完毕。权威作答。
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第一篇和第二篇增加了一些句子。个别不必要的句子删除了。作文题目按要求大写了。GOOD LUCK!
1. My Family
There are my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old now. In the past, he lived together with my grandmother. As my grandmother died 5 years ago, he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. His hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. He enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house, where he usually drinks his Chinese tea. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She gets up early in the morning and prepares breakfast for the family. She cooks delicious food. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is now living in my aunt's house in Beijing, preparing herself to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I have a happy and harmonious family. I love my family.
2. My Favorite Hobby
One of my favorite hobbies is playing computer games. It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekends. I can play 2 hours a day at the weekends. One of the computer games I often play with is "popkart", which is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. In these days more and more people in my class start to play "popkart". So we always play the game together. While playing together with my friends, we chat, laugh and exchange views on all sorts of issues. I will have a good time whenever we play together.
This is my favorite hobby. What fun it is!
3. My Plans for the Next Year
Next year I will be in the third year of my middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for my health. Usually I don't get exercise enough. So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for the next year is to travel around Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I would like to tour in Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for the next year.
I hope I can accomplish my plans next year.
1. My Family
There are my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me in my family.
My grandfather is 81 years old now. In the past, he lived together with my grandmother. As my grandmother died 5 years ago, he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. His hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. He enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house, where he usually drinks his Chinese tea. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She gets up early in the morning and prepares breakfast for the family. She cooks delicious food. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is now living in my aunt's house in Beijing, preparing herself to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I have a happy and harmonious family. I love my family.
2. My Favorite Hobby
One of my favorite hobbies is playing computer games. It is very fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekends. I can play 2 hours a day at the weekends. One of the computer games I often play with is "popkart", which is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. In these days more and more people in my class start to play "popkart". So we always play the game together. While playing together with my friends, we chat, laugh and exchange views on all sorts of issues. I will have a good time whenever we play together.
This is my favorite hobby. What fun it is!
3. My Plans for the Next Year
Next year I will be in the third year of my middle school. I have some plans for next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for my health. Usually I don't get exercise enough. So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for the next year is to travel around Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I would like to tour in Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for the next year.
I hope I can accomplish my plans next year.
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1.My family
Let me introduce my family. There are five people in my family. They are my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It has a lot of fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. These days more and more people in my class have started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
The very reason I like the computer games is that it is not easy to make any progress in the game. Wheneve I made great progress in it ,I was wild with joy. And my friends also shared my happiness and I shared theirs.
This is my favorite hobby. I enjoy it very much and can relax myself by it!
3. My Plan for the Next Year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for the next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of my middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good senior high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for the sake of my health. Usually I don't get enough exercise . So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for the next year is to travel around Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel around Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for the next year.
I hope I can fulfill my plans next year.
Let me introduce my family. There are five people in my family. They are my grandfather, my father, my mother, my elder sister and me.
My grandfather is 81 years old. In the past, he only lived with my grandmother. But my grandmother died 5 years ago, so he lives with us together now. My father is 47 years old. My father's hobby is going mountain climbing. He goes mountain climbing with his friends once or twice a month. And he enjoys drinking Chinese tea. There is a room for drinking tea in my house. He usually drinks Chinese tea in the room. My mother is 43 years old. She is good at cooking. She wakes up in the early morning and prepares breakfast for the family. Her food is delicious. My elder sister is 19 years old. She is living in my aunt's house in Beijing. She is studying there to enter the university. She is good at English. I am 15 years old. My hobby is playing soccer and playing computer games.
I love my family.
2. My favorite hobby.
Let me introduce my favorite hobby.
My favorite hobby is playing computer games. It has a lot of fun and I can get rid of stress by playing computer games. But I can only play computer games at the weekend. And I can play 2 hours a day at the weekend. My favorite computer game is "popkart". It is a racing game. I usually play computer games with my friends. Playing with friends is more interesting. These days more and more people in my class have started to play "popkart". So we always play together.
The very reason I like the computer games is that it is not easy to make any progress in the game. Wheneve I made great progress in it ,I was wild with joy. And my friends also shared my happiness and I shared theirs.
This is my favorite hobby. I enjoy it very much and can relax myself by it!
3. My Plan for the Next Year.
Next year I will be in the third year of middle school. I have some plans for the next year.
First, I am planning to study harder next year. The third year of my middle school is very important, so I will study harder to get better grades to enter a good senior high school. Second, I am planning to go mountain climbing for the sake of my health. Usually I don't get enough exercise . So I am going to go mountain climbing to improve my fitness. There is a small mountain in front of my house, so it is very convenient to go mountain climbing. My last plan for the next year is to travel around Shanghai. I don't know Shanghai very well because I just came to Shanghai this year. So I woud like to travel around Shanghai to know more about this city. These are all of my plans for the next year.
I hope I can fulfill my plans next year.
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