Question

帮忙看一篇英语作文，有没有语法错误

About 50 years ago,four black teens sat down at a restaurant in Greensboro to ask more than the coffee and dounts the waitress refused to serve them.They did this in order to protest the unfair treatments of blacks at that restaurant and many others places in the United States.In the next six months,they went to the restaurant with their supporters everyday.Everything pay will get return,these students were finally served.
Just 7 years before 1960,a Supereme Court decided to make school segregation of white and black students illegal.And in many parts of the world,blacks couldn't get the same rights as the white could.Like Martin Luther King,the Greensboro teens wanted to change the present situation through peaceful protest.Within two mounths,sit-ins were occurring in nine states and more and more people came to get involved.Eventually,in1964,the law gives equal rights to balck Americans in employment,voting and the use of public facilities.
In recent days,the famous seats and counter where the Greensboro Four first seat became a place for visitors to visit.As Assistant Attorney General Thomas said,"We need this civil rights museum so that we remember our history."

有没有改的地方或者有更好的写法，希望能够个别句子缩减删除，谢谢！

Answer 1

第一句就有点错误，什么叫to ask more than the coffee and dounts ？然后问题还有很多。用词有很多不太准确的地方或用的不好的地方（不标准或不书面），写文章不能只用get,can,do这些词的，首先这些太口语，其次频率使用的太高了（不是说不能用，而是尽量少用）。关联词也没有，说句实话，我有点看不懂这篇文章，你是想讲种族歧视吧？
上述都是建议，说得有些直，希望不要生气^_^
如果能给我中文，我可以帮你写写看

追问

to ask more than the coffee and dounts the waitress refused to serve them.这句要一起看的啦，至于那些词，我会修改一下，这是根据一篇长文章写的梗概，所以拿出中文就比较困难了，总之谢谢你！

还有，话说，不口语用书面用语应该是哪些词呢，居然不知道怎么改

追答

。。。这句中间连停顿都没有。。。说句实话，真的很难看懂，不过如果是高一的话可能这样也行吧。那要不要我修改呢？

追问

当然要了。。。肆意修改吧，比如第一句是挺纠结，改个从句应该可以。可惜本人法盲一个

追答

您就讲个大概意思吧，这样我好有点数，不过第二段稍微好一点。你就讲第一段吧

追问

好的。第一段就是说4个黑人学生去餐馆吃饭，然后服务员歧视黑人把他们赶了出来。之后的六个月他们四个和他们的拥护者为了维护黑人的权利和谴责不公平待遇就天天去餐馆坐着，最后终于被服务。

大概就是这样的，Summary能表达意思希望越短越好啦。

追答

About 50 years ago,four black teenagers sat down in a restaurant in Greensboro and ordered some coffee and dounts. Nevertheless, the waitress refused to serve them. So they launched a campaign in order to protest the unfair treatments towards(或者of) the blacks in many places in the United States including that restaurant. The supporters and them have been to the restaurant everyday in the next six months. As the saying goes ”Everything paid will get return”, these balck students were finally served equally.
Just 7 years before 1960,a Supreme Court decided to publish a law in order to make school segregation of white and black students illegal because in many parts of the world,blacks couldn't gain the same rights as the whites’. Also, Martin Luther King, the Greensboro teens endeavored to change the present situation in a non-violence way. Then, within two mounths, sit-ins occured in nine states and an increasing number of people came to take an active participation in it. Eventually, in1964, the law entitles the equal rights of employment, voting and using of public facilities to the black Americans.
In recent days, the famous seats and counter where the Greensboro Four first sit before has been listed as a tourist attraction for visitors. As Assistant Attorney General Thomas said," We need this civil rights museum so that we rememberour history."

追问

后面就是说现在，黑人的权力已经得到保护，那么当年那几个学生静坐的地方就被用作旅游地点，以此提醒人们永远记住黑人维权的这段历史。

追答

好了，good luck

Answer 2

全对

Answer 3

我通读了一遍，基本没有什么大的问题，
只是有些小的地方与要改一下！
第二段：“Just 7 years before 1960”您想要说什么，是不是说“Before the 1960s in seven years” 再说了1960 的后面要加s 才行，才可以表示20世纪60年代的嘛！其他的我没看出来！
可我不明白的是，你为什么要写这样一篇文章，论点是什么，我不太理解哈！如果我判断不错的话，您应该是大三大四的水平对吧！
不管如何，祝你成功！

追问

....高一啦高一。是老师给了一篇文章，要我们写Summary,明天要拿去读的所以先问问了。
7 years before 1960....其实就是1953，亏我还写的这么纠结。

追答

我晕~~~原来如此！ (*^__^*) 嘻嘻……
我说怎么这么对，呵呵，明天你放心去读吧！没事的，最主要是别紧张就可以了！
祝你成功！

Answer 4

楼主，你好，这是我的看法，希望楼主可以采纳到哈。
我觉得第一句有coffee and dounts点累赘，念起来有点奇怪，可以改成：It was 50 years ago that four black teens had a restaurant in Greensboro. They asked more, however, the waitress refused.
我觉得在 many others places in the United States前可以加上 also
in the next 6 months 的in 可以改成 during。
时态统一 everything will pay 把will 改成would。
illegal应该改成legal
And in many parts of the world的And 可以改成Actually。
,in1964,the law gives 的gives 应改成gave
balck Americans 最好改成Afrian Americans
where the Greensboro Four first seat 改成were in the Greensboro
visitors to visit 不是很好，因为两个词很近，词根都是visit 可以直接把visitor改成people