求一个英文笑话。

要好笑短一点的要带中文解释的急~~~我周一要用我不要从别人回答过的拿来... 要好笑 短一点的 要带中文解释的
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xuphxym
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  Let me take it down

  An elephant said to a mouse ,"no doubt that you are the smallest znd most useless thing that Ihave e ver seen ."
  "Pless ,say it again .Let me take it down ."the mouse said ."I will tell a flea what I know."

  为我所用
  一头大象对一只小老鼠说:“你无疑是我见过的最小、最没用的东西。”

  “请再说一遍,让我把它记下来。”老鼠说。“我要讲给我认识的一只跳蚤听。

  Two birls

  Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

  Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

  Teacher: Please tell us.

  Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

  两只鸟

  老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?

  学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。

  老师:请说说看。

  学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

  The Fish Net

  "Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

  "A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

  鱼网

  "你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。

  "把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

  The New Teacher

  George comes from school on the first of September.

  "George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.

  "I didn\'t like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."

  新老师

  9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。

  "乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问。

  "妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"

  A physics Examination

  Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates were thinking it hard.

  The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then hear the thunderrolls?

  Nick\'s answer: Because our eyes are before ears.

  一次物理考试

  在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个问题。

  这个问题是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?

  尼克的回答是:因为眼睛在前,耳朵在后。
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男:I think I could make you very happy.(我想我能让你非常快乐。)
女:Why? Are you leaving?(是吗?你是说你要离开?)【你能离开就是对我的仁慈】
He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事儿?
约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
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曾某某1225
2011-08-03
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Too Fast or Too Slow
A man was driving at 130 miles an hour when a policeman overtook him.
"Was I driving too fast,officer?"the man asked.
"NO,"the policeman answered,"You were flying too slow."
太慢或太快
一个男人正在以130英里每小时的速度行驶,当一个警察看见他时,
他问:“我开的太快了吗?警官。”
“不”,警察说,“你飞的太慢了。”
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杨凡·
2011-08-03
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A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter. My dear, said the old lady, I wish you would do something for me. I wish you would promise me never to use two words. One is ‘lousy’ and the other is ‘swell’. Would you promise me that?

Why, sure, Granny, said the girl. What are the two words?

一个非常高贵的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。我亲爱的,老夫人说:我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词,一个是“讨厌的”,另一个是“极好的”。你能答应我吗?

噢,当然,奶奶,女孩说:是哪两个词?
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琛啊啊啊
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you beautiful
oh ......
you ei.........
wa ......
oh ........
ye ........
hey .......
oh .......
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