Question

谁有什么英语的笑话加翻译的

Answer 1

　　Onemoring，Mr.Smith got a letter. He opened the envelope and said to his wife，“Someone sent these two tickets for the opera tonight. Isn't that nice.
　　”Who sent them?" asked Mr.Smith. "It must be one of our friends." Of course they were happy. After supper,they put on the their best clothes and went to the theatre. They had a good time.
　　But when they came home,they were no lpnger happy. Their front door was open and almost everyting in their house was gone. On the kitchen table there was a note. It read,"Now you see who sent you the tickets.''

　　一天早上，史密斯先生收到一封信。他拆开信封后，对太太说：“有人送来了两张今晚的歌剧门票，真是太好了！”
　　“会是谁送的呢？”史密斯先生问。“肯定是我们的一个朋友。”当然，史密斯夫妇很高兴。吃完晚饭，他们就穿上自己最好的衣服去了剧院。他们看得很开心。
　　但当他们回到家，就再也高兴不起来了。他们的前门敞开着，家里所有的东西几乎都没了。在厨房餐桌上留了一个纸条，上面写着：“现在你们知道票是谁送的了吧。”

　　Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"

　　两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"

　　一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

Answer 2

福尔摩斯和他的助手在山上搭帐篷露营，半夜福尔摩斯推醒助手，指着满天的繁星问道：“看到这么多星星你想到了什么？”
助手说道：“每颗星星都相当于一个太阳，而我们居住的地球在太阳系里只是很小的一颗行星，我们人类又是显得多么渺小啊！”
福尔摩斯怒道：“你这个笨蛋，我们的帐篷被偷了！”
Sherlock Holmes and his assistant in the mountains in the middle of the tent camping, Sherlock Holmes pushed up assistant, pointing to the all over the sky stars asked: "see so many stars what did you think?"
Aides said: "each star are equivalent to a sun, and the earth we are living in the solar system are just small a planet, we humans and how small is!!!!!"
Sherlock Holmes nu way: "you are this idiot, our tent was stolen!"

Answer 3

--。英语参考书上有好多