Question

雅思小作文学习中，求好心人批改下，是剑5 test4 writing1。最好能给个分数！

剑5test4writing1
The table lists accurate data within three particular items about sub networks.
Above all, when comparing London to Los Angeles—the oldest subway country beginning with 1863 against the newest one, starting in 2001, over a century’s development before has triggered more than ten times size of gap no matter in overall route(394 kilometers versus 28 kilometers) or for the whole annual passengers(775 millions contrasted with 50 millions).
However, albeit the longest history London has, it is Tokyo than serve the most passengers per year, accounting for 1927 millions, coincident with the opening age—1927. In addition, because of the shortest route of 11 millions, Kyoto ultimately and unavoidably becomes bound up with the smallest amount of annual passengers.
Besides, in terms of Paris and Washington DC, both dominate the intermediate position. In the aspect of network’s distance, Paris totally stretches 199 kilometer alongside the country, 1.5 lager than Washington DC whereas 50 per cent as London has. Then as for passengers all the year around, both, 1191 and 144 respectively, are lower than Tokyo yet higher than Kyoto as well as Los Angele.
In a word, it turns out that disparate cities has their own distinct characteristics, bring differential underground railway systems themselves.

Answer 1

整体文章结构不错，几乎没什么错误，建议你用易改，可以百度下，下个免费的，可以帮助你改作文。我用着觉得挺好。

追问

十分感谢，正愁没有正种软件呢！

追答

好东西一起分享哈

Answer 2

很好了，加油。这篇文章一定有7分的

追问

谢谢鼓励！(^o^)

Answer 3

很好了，加油。这篇文章一定有7分的