Question

英语搞笑短文 1分钟左右 急急急

Answer 1

A Brother Like That
A friend of mine named Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it.
"Is this your car, Mister?" he said.
Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn’t cost you nothing? Boy, I wish . . ." He hesitated.
Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels.
"I wish," the boy went on, "That I could be a brother
like that."
Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?"
"Oh yes, Id love that."
After a short ride, the boy turned with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?"
Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a big automobile. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked.
He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car.
"There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn’t cost him a cent. And some day Im gonna give you one just like it . . . then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that Ive been trying to tell you about."
Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride. That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he said: "It is more blessed to give . . . "

Answer 2

一分钟？Okay.
ABCDEFG means A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl.Is it romantic?
nope.Don't foget the HIJK.
what' s that???
He Is Just Kidding.

Answer 3

the local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongset man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet.
the bartender would squeeze alemon until all the juice ran into a glass,and hand the lemon to a partron.anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money .
many people had tried over time,but nobody could do it.
one day,this scrawny little man came in,wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit,and said in tiny,squeaky voice,"i`d like to try the bet."
after the laughter had died down,the bartender said ok,grabbed a lemon,and squeezed away.then he handed thewrinkled remains as the little man.
but the crowd laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass.
as the crowd cheered,the bartender paid the $1,000,and asked the little man,"what do you do for a living?are you a lumberjack,a weightlifter,or what?"
the man replied,"i work for the IRS(美国国税局）"

Answer 4

求一篇英语课前演讲ppt，给我文章内容也可以，需要幽默搞笑的，大概带翻译10分钟左右！~ 把你的在线给我，我发给你. One day, a