Question

两人简单的英语对话搞笑的

Answer 1

He Won

Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

他赢了
汤姆：约翰尼，你小弟弟好吗？
约翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了伤。
汤姆：真糟糕，怎么回事儿？
约翰尼：我们做游戏，看谁能把身子探出窗外最远，他赢了。

I Have His Ear in My Pocket

Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."

他的耳朵在我衣兜里

伊凡鼻子流着血回到家里。他妈妈问，“发生了什么事？”
“一个男孩咬了我一口，”伊凡说。
“再见到他你能认出来吗？”妈妈问。
“他走到哪里我都能认出他，”伊凡说。“他的耳朵还在我衣兜里呢。”

A Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."

好孩子

小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”

Drunk

One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"

醉酒

一天，父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄，老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道：“爸爸，‘醉’字是什么意思？” “唔，孩子，”父亲回答说，“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个，那么我就算醉了。” “可是，爸爸， ”孩子说，“那儿只有一个警察呀！”

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.

好客

由于客人在吃苹果馅饼时，家里没有奶酪了，于是女主人向大家表示歉意。这家的小男孩悄悄地离开了屋子。过了一会儿，他拿着一片奶酪回到房间，把奶酪放在客人的盘子里。 客人微笑着把奶酪放进嘴里说：“孩子，你的眼睛就是比你妈妈的好。你在哪里找到的奶酪？” “在捕鼠夹上，先生。”那小男孩说。

追问

还有吗

追答

区别
When I take a long time, I am slow.
　　我做事情花了长时间，是效率低；
　　When my boss takes a long time, he is thorough.
　　老板做事情花了长时间，是深思熟虑。
　　When I don't do it, I am lazy.
　　我没有做完事情，是懒惰；
　　When my boss doesn't do it, he is too busy.
　　老板没有做完事情，是太繁忙。
　　When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart.
　　没有人告诉我的事情我做了，是自作聪明；
　　When my boss does the same, that is initiative.
　　老板做了同样的事情，是首创。
　　When I please my boss, I am ass-kissing.
　　我取悦老板，是献媚；
　　When my boss pleases his boss, he is co-operating.
　　老板取悦他的老板，是合作。
　　I do good, my boss never remembers.
　　我干得好，老板从来不会想起；
　　When I do wrong, he never forgets.
　　我干得不好，老板从来不会忘记。
祷告　　
Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."
　　朱莉叶在做睡前祷告。“祷告上帝，”她说，“让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都吧。”

　　Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?"
　　妈妈打断她说：“朱莉叶，你为什么求上帝让那不勒斯成为意大利的首都呢？”

　　And Julie replied, "Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"
　　朱莉叶回答说：“因为我在地理考卷上是这么写的。”
都得6
　　George comes from school on the first of September.
　　9月1日， 乔治放学回到家里。

　　"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
　　“乔治，你喜欢你们的新老师吗？” 妈妈问。

　　"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
　　“妈妈，我不喜欢，因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”

Answer 2

A:what is your name? 你叫啥名?
B:Hu胡(谐音:谁)
A:you~你
B:Hu~胡
A:Who?谁?
B:yes, I am~是，我就是
A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字
B:Hu胡啊
A:You!你!
B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊
A:So tell me about it那就告诉我啊
B:Hu!胡!
A:You! What is your name!? 你!你叫啥名?!
B:Hu is my name!我就叫胡
A:O~哦