Question

初中英语幽默小短文，急急急急急急急急急急急急

当课前演讲用。我上初二，要容易点的，有幽默感的。别太难，额的英语水平很一般。背几分钟就够。

Answer 1

Pig or Witch

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH(女巫)!!" They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.

猪还是女巫

一个男人在一条陡峭狭窄的山路上驾车，一个女人相向驾车而来。他们相遇时，那个女的从窗中伸出头来叫到：“猪！！”那个男的立即从窗中伸出头来回敬道：“女巫！！”他们继续前行。这个男的在下一个路口转弯时，撞上了路中间的一头猪。要是这个男的能听懂那个女人的意思就好了。

Answer 2

the different between cats and dogs.a dog's mind： a person who gives me food ,water,and home,he maybe the god. but to a cat,the same situatiion, someone who always give me food,water,and home ,and the cat will think that i am the god ,maybe.
猫和狗的区别：狗的心理活动是，有一个人天天供我吃供我喝，还给我地方住，恩，他一定是神。猫的心理活动是，有一个人天天给我吃给我喝，还给我一个家，恩，我一定是神！
这个可不可以？ 你可以用你会的话改改，大概意思是这个就行了

Answer 3

去笑话大全看看，把里面你认为好的，你再去百度在线翻译去翻译就OK了。
我为你也找了一篇：
上语文课时，老师让同学用新学的成语“愁眉苦脸”和“笑逐颜开”造一个句子。豆豆抢答道：“每个月发工资时，爸爸总是愁眉苦脸地把钱交给妈妈，妈妈笑逐颜开地数钱。”

The Chinese class, the teacher let the students use the new idiom" sad" and" make a sentence with". Answer : " peas each month wages, dad always sad to give the money to the mother, mother smiles to number money."