Question

英语日记

自己每天写一篇，很短的日记，大家帮我看看有哪里是可以提高的。谢谢
It's turned out cold today. I wake up at 7:30 am and then when I get to comtele company,we share work experiences and learn from each other.soon we began my job again, I introduce production of telecom company to every passenger on the bus. during the time, I experience not only bitter but also sweet,because you will experience acception and rejection.I will not give up,I hope that some day I can own happiness.

Answer 1

the weather turned cold.
i always wake up at 7 am and then i go to the company 【comtele 应该拼写错了】
work experience 经验不可数
soon we began my job again.【这句很不好。】after that we begin our job
I introduce production of telecom company to every passenger on the bus【products】 【the telecom company】 【in the bus】
during the time, I experience not only bitter but also sweet,because you will experience acception and rejection【很不好。】
——while i introduced the products ,i felt happy and i smiled sweetly,because i could learn a lot.
I hope that some day I can own happiness.【这句话不好。中文很生硬的翻译】

【总体感觉】
单词拼写错误
时态乱用
人称混乱
复杂句子的结构错误
还有很生硬的翻译

【以后可以写短的句子，尝试套用一些结构。最好整篇都是一个时态，人称统一。】
我的语气比较严肃，很抱歉。

追问

没事，我需要的就是你这样的...

追答

真不好意思。
回答的时候我心情不好。
其实，写作文很简单。
把思路理好，然后，用简单的句子，加几个句型就好。
晚安。坚持会很好。多看点高考或者四级的范文。

追问

恩

Answer 2

如果你第一句是想说天气变冷的话，这样讲，我个人认为是不好的，turn out 的意思应该是结果是，所以不如写成：It turns cold today.
还有写日记的话时态一般是一般过去时。所以后面的句子，自己可以修改一些
还有注意大小写，During应该是大写的。

Answer 3

中式英语。