Question

英语翻译，高手请进，帮我看下我这段话这样译，对不对？能不能改的优美一点，先谢谢啦！

原文：
轻盈温暖的轻型羽绒茄克，前所未有的轻盈穿着感受与干练剪裁，使您在寒冷冬季亦可展现时尚气息。对面料、细节、以及剪裁进行了改良，线条更优美、穿着更舒适。侧面竖线条绗缝的加入，带来视觉上更为干练的身体曲线。对具有出众防水、耐久性的锦纶表面施加了釉面轧光加工处理，展现光泽质感。可以折叠放入附带的收纳袋，方便出行携带。

我的翻译：
The down coat, which is lighting and warming, it will bring you the sense of lightness you never feel, enabling you to unfold the fashionable breath in the cold winter. We have Improvement the Lining, the detail, also the tailor, the line have been more elegance, wearing is more comfortable.
Though add the vertical line and on the side, bring you the beautify body line. The polyamide fiber surface, which can be waterproof and durable, has been exerted the glazed surface calendering processing to show glossy finish, it can be folded to be put into the bag, convenience for you outside.

Answer 1

楼主似乎全是逐词逐句翻译 而且有蛮多语法错误的 而且中文都有问题。。。面料裁剪本来就是细节 还加个范畴词就不行了
The down coat, which is extremely light and warm,is also well designed, enabling you to pursue fashion even in the cold winter. Efforts have been made to improve the lining, the clipping and so on to make the line more elegant and more comfortable to wear.And the fabrication of profile perpendicular line bring a feast on eyes, highlighting the curl of body.The polyamide fiber surface, which is waterproof and durable, is processed with glazed calendering, showing glossy texture. Furthermore, it can be folded into a bag, very convenient to take along.

Answer 2

有些语法错误喔 比方说The down coat, which is lighting and warming, it will bring you the sense of lightness you never feel, enabling you to unfold the fashionable breath in the cold winter.把从句部分去掉你会发现 后面的it 得去掉。

Answer 3

作为产品介绍应该越简单越好，看看这么改一下。
The down coat, light and warm, will give you the feeling of lightness you've never had and enable you to show fashion in cold winter. We have Improved the lining, details and the tailor,which makes the line more beautiful and wearing more comfortable.
By adding the vertical line on the side, you may have perfect body line. The polyamide fiber surface, which can be waterproof and durable, has been exerted the glazed surface calendering processing to show glossy finish.It can be folded to be put into the bag and convenient for you to go outside with.