Question

谁能帮忙看看我的英语作文有没有语法错误？在线等

More freedom or less to college student
Today, we talk about the freedom to the college student, we have different opinions .some of us thank the college student should have more freedom than before, and the other don’t agree it.
Some people think that the college student should have more freedom than before, because the freedom is very important for student. They have to study many different thing everyday .they have to learn how to manage their time, their work, and so on. And the students are the master of the country in future, they should concern the future of the country, they have to learn how to express a reasonable opinion, how to monitor government. And it can help the student how to build the more hopeful country in future.
And the other think that the student should less freedom than before, because they think the student is too free. They waste too much time to other things rather than learning .and it harmful to students. The student mission is learning, and they should spend more time on it.
I agree the student should have more freedom than before, because they are so young, they should learn how to build the hopeful country .how to help the other. And this is very important for a man.

很多年没写过英语作文，这玩意要加算学分，请各位帮忙啦~改得好另外加悬赏分

Answer 1

The Freedom of Students
Today(这个表达不太好，In today’s society 在当今社会，这个表达好一点), （when)we talk about the freedom to(of) the college student(s复数), we(distinct people) have different opinions(various perspectives) .some of us thank the college student should have more freedom than before, and the other don’t agree it.(这句话从你后面的表达的开头说就行了，不要在这里赘述)
Some people think that the college student(s) should have more freedom than before. (Essentially,) because(不要) the freedom is very important(crucial) for student(s). They have to study many different(kinds of) thing(s) everyday .they have to learn how to manage their time, their work, and so on.(这个句子本身没有问题，但是前面一个说他们要学东西，这句话又说他们要学东西，给观者一种重复的感觉。这整句话你可以这样说，They have to learn kinds of things such as how to manage their time, their work, their study and so forth.) And(Subsequently) the students are the master of the country in future. They should concern the future of the country, they have to(不要) learn how to express a reasonable opinion,
(and) how to monitor (the) government. And it can help the student how to build the(a) more hopeful(prosperous,hopeful在这里形容国家有点牵强。。。) country in future.（这后面主要问题我觉得是country 和 in the future用得太频繁，看着很杂乱）
(However,)And(不要) the other(s) think that the student(s) should (have) less freedom than before(ever), because(since) they think the student(s) is too free. They waste too much time to(on) other things rather than learning . (have had too much after-school’s time on playing rather than learning.) and it(And as we know that’s) harmful to students. The student(Students’) mission is learning, and they should spend more(most) time on it.
(In summary,freedom of students has both positive sides and negative sides. 这个地方一定要有这一句，因为他们的观点都是对的，才会存在对比选择，如果没有这句，你的作文的第三段一段都等于没有写了。But) I agree (with that) the student(s) should have more freedom than before(不要), because they are so young, they should learn how to build the hopeful country .how to help the other. And this is very important for a man.（你这后面最后一句的理由和你说的观点A的基本上一致，放在这里完全等于没有说。你可以参考这个句子：the freedom of the students itself is neither good nor bad. It is the use to which it is put that determines its value to society.)

把条理1 2 3列出来，行文更规范，高分的第一点
更好的词汇代替高中初中的词汇，高分的第二点
注意单复数，注意句子的主谓，这些小细节会给老师很差的印象分哦

改好的已经发到你邮箱了，这个只是留个爪印，加油，既然关乎学分更希望能给老师留个好印象，作文是个很好的途径，希望能有个好成绩。

-----------------------------整理过后的，220个词----------------------------
The Freedom of Students
In today’s society, when we talk about the freedom of the college students, distinct people have different various perspectives.
As it often pointed out by some people, college students should have more freedom than before. Essentially, the freedom is completely crucial for students. They have to learn kinds of things such as how to manage their time, their work, their study and so forth. Subsequently, the students are the master of our society in the days to come. They should concern the future of the country; learn how to express reasonable opinions and how to monitor the government. And it can help the students to know how to build a more prosperous country in future.
However, the others think that the students should have less freedom than ever, since they think the students have had too much after-school’s time on playing rather than learning. And as we know that’s harmful to students. Students’ mission is learning, and they should spend most time on it.
In summary, freedom of students has both positive sides and negative sides. But I agree with that the students should have more freedom .The freedom of the students itself is neither good nor bad. It is the use to which it is put that determines its value to society.

Answer 2

1, learn how to do 改为 lean to do 或 learn that how to do 更合适一些
2, And the other(s) think that the student should (have) less freedom than before
3, and it (is) harmful to students. The student(s') mission is learning,
4, And the other(s) thought

Answer 3

some of us thank 中的thank应该是thought吧、 and the other don’t agree it.前面不要打逗号。Some people think that the college student 中的student用复数。改成students. because the freedom is very important for student中的和上面的student改成students.They have to study many different thing 中的thing改成复数- -things. 还有And the other think that the student should less freedom than before中should后面是不是要加一个have呢~而且把student要改复数。
they think the student is too free单独成句，句首大写，student改复数。
They waste too much time to other things rather learning改成They waste too much time doing other things rather than learning.
how to help the other. 改成How to help others.

就是这些啦。其他的应该还是没什么问题的。要注意单复数的转变和词组的用法哦~
吼吼。希望对你有帮助啦啦。

Answer 4

More freedom or less to college students
Today, we talk about the freedom to the college students. We have different opinions on it.some of us think the college students should have more freedom than before, but some others hold the opposite opinions.
Some people think that the college students should have more freedom than before, because freedom is very important for students. They have to study many different kind of things every day .they have to learn how to manage their time, their work, and so on. And the students are the masters of the country in the future, so they should show their concern about the future of the country.they have to learn how to express a reasonable opinion, how to monitor a government. And it can help the students to know how to build a more hopeful country in the future.
while some others think that the students should have less freedom than before, because they think the students are too free now. They waste too much time on other things rather than learning .and it is harmful to students. The students` mission is learning, and they should spend more time on it.
To the point of my view,I think the students should have more freedom than before. Because they are so young. They should learn how to build a hopeful country and how to help the others. And this is very important for a man.

Answer 5

错到没什么错，不过最后一句要改一改 这样读的有些不通顺啊

Answer 6

SZU大英三？