Question

哪位高手能帮我翻译一段相声，儿子要表演的，谢谢了！火急

桥义新释
甲：最近可好啊？
乙：不好。
甲：WHY?你要是有什么困难就找我，要知道我走过的桥比你走过的路还长。
乙：既然这样，那我就跟你比试比试谁知道的桥多！
甲：你正好撞在我的强项上了！这个桥我知道的太多了！
乙：算了吧，你肚子里有几根葱我比谁都清楚!就你那两下子！
甲：不信？你数着：赵州桥、朱雀桥、飞虹桥、迈皋桥、文德桥、四象桥、包东桥……这个南京大桥的设计师的姑妈叫什么名字我都知道！
乙：停，我们是比谁知道的桥的新意多！你可知道心桥是什么？
甲：心桥不就是心脏搭桥手术吗？叶利钦就做过这样的手术！
乙：去你的！心桥是人与人心灵之间沟通的桥梁。你输了，请客！
甲：不带的！我也来问你一个!你知道商桥是什么意思？
乙：商桥是现代社会一大隐患，在立交桥上全是卖杂货的小商贩!让外国人看到多不文明呀！
甲：回答错误，商桥是商业沟通的桥梁！
乙：哦……该我问你了！书桥是什么？
甲：是以书来沟通的方式，It,s so easy!
乙：真不知道廉耻，问你个简单的你就爬上房顶了！文化桥梁怎么解释？
甲：就是文化沟通的渠道嘛！
乙：说得好！
甲：我问你个难点的，经济桥梁是啥？
乙：不就是搞中介的吗？真不是个玩意！坑人害人！
甲：不知道就别讲，这个经济桥梁是指经济上互通信息的手段。常向我学学嘛，长知识！
乙：唉，士别三日，刮目相看，你水平渐长，令我自叹不如啊！那你还知道什么桥？甲：还有鹊桥！
乙:鹊桥是什么？
甲：是传说中七夕牛郎织女相会的地方！Hlow romantic!
乙：那鹊桥是什么样子？
甲：我怎么会知道？我又不是牛郎！这只是传说中的桥！
乙：说到传说中的桥，我还知道“奈何桥”！那就是通向阴曹地府的桥梁！
甲：还有橡皮桥、太空桥、诚信桥、友谊桥、信息桥、文艺桥、警民连心桥……
乙：怎么都是一个名词加桥啊！生活中的许多职业与物品也起着桥的作用，如电话是通讯桥、家长是孩子的成长之桥、老师是知识桥……
甲：还有许多软件如译桥、桥接器、陈桥五笔输入法、象棋桥……
乙：嗨，原来桥有这么多的讲法呀！

Answer 1

　　A new interpretation of the bridge defined:
　　the latest available Well?
　　B: not good.
　　A: WHY? If you have any difficulty to me, to know that I walk you through the bridge over the road is still long.
　　B: If so, then I told you a test a test of who knows more than the bridge!
　　A: You just hit on my strengths! The bridge I know too much!
　　B: Forget it, your stomach a few onions than anyone else I know! To you that the two erupted!
　　A: Do not believe? You are counting: arch bridge, Suzaku bridge, flying Hongqiao, Maigaoqiao, Wende Bridge, the bridge four images, including Nanjing, East Bridge ... The bridge designer aunt What is the name I have
　　B: stop, we are nothing new bridge than anyone else to know more! Do you know what the heart is the bridge?
　　A: Heart bypass surgery is the bridge does not it? Boris Yeltsin has done this surgery!
　　B: Damn you! Heart of the bridge is a bridge between the human soul. You lose, treat!
　　A: without it! I have to ask you one! Business Bridge, you know what it means?
　　B: Business Bridge is a serious hazard in modern society, the overpass on all the small traders selling groceries! Let foreigners see more uncivilized it!
　　A: The answer wrong, the bridge is a commercial business bridge!
　　B: Oh ... that I ask you! What is the book the bridge? Armor
　　B: Oh ... that I ask you! What is the book the bridge?
　　A: The book is to communicate the way, It, s so easy!
　　B: I do not know shame, ask you a simple roof you climb it! Explain how cultural bridge?
　　A: is the cultural channel of communication it! B: Well said!
　　A: I asked you a difficult, economic bridge is what?
　　B: do not do is engage in mediation? Really not a thing! Kengren harm!
　　A: Do not know to say that this bridge is the financial economy exchange of information. I often to learn Well, long knowledge!
　　B: Well, who do not three days, one unique phase