Question

我写的四级英语作文麻烦帮我改下 谢谢!

Create a Green Campus
Nowadays, more and more people prefer greating a green campus, because it plays significant role in our daily life. It has caused substantial impact on the society and our daily life.
The green campus not only in green environment, but also it refers to a campus that acts to decrease its impact on the environment .It will be basis of establishing a harmonious campus in the long term.
To solve the problem is not easy at all, but is worthy. As for me, I belivev it is hight time that we took some effective measures to set down strict laws and regulations to educate those student don’t throw rubbish away. On the other hand, we can appeal to student should keep the realization.A bright future is waiting for us when all the measures are take seriously implementation.

Answer 1

这篇作文，怎么说呢，感觉作者的逻辑不是很清楚。第一段有提到绿色校园对人民日常生活和整个社会的影响，但是接下来的两段并没有把这两个点发展下去，而是说起了绿色校园的概念和应该怎么去创建这样的绿色校园。 写的点很多，但是比较散，给人的感觉是没有重点，如果只关注其中的某些点并多加笔墨的话，会清楚很多吧。
然后语法上面问题比较多，有的句子冗杂了很多意思，拆分成简单句表述的意思会更清楚，语法上也相对不容易出错吧。
我试着改了下，因为不是很清楚你想侧重的点，逻辑上没有改动，只是就句子而言改了些。仅供参考吧。大家一起努力。
Nowadays, more and more people prefer a green campus, because it not only plays a significant role in their daily life, but also has great influences on the society.
A green campus means green environment, what’s more, it refers to a campus that contributes to decrease its side-effect on environment. In the long term it will be a basis of establishing a harmonious campus.
Though it is not easy to solve the problem, it is worthy. As for me, I believe it is high time that we should take some effective measures. Strict rules and regulations will be workable to educate those students who are used to throwing rubbish anywhere. A bright future is waiting for us.

可能说的有点过了，多包涵哈。

追问

谢谢! 我没有什么英语基础 但要考英语四级就找了作文摸版练习下 谢谢你了

追答

不客气哈，祝考试顺利~

Answer 2

1.The green campus （is）not only in green environment 没有be动词 主系表结构不完整
2.To solve the problem is not easy at all, but is worthy. 混乱改为（To solve the problem is not easy at all ，but it is worthy doing .) 3. I belivev it is hight time that we took some effective measures to set down strict laws and regulations to educate those student（who） don’t throw rubbish away 我喜欢用的句型 但定语从句缺少关系代词4.we can appeal to student（s） （that they）should keep the realization 5. A bright future is waiting for us when all the measures are take（n） seriously implementation 过去分词错误