要5个笑话

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風sir2021
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2007-09-10 · 说的都是干货,快来关注
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1. 那就更糟了 Much Worse

Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?
Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

中文:

警察:有人抢你的手表时,你为什么不呼救呢?
男子:要是我张口的话,他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

注释:
1、shout for help:呼救
2、rob of:抢劫

2.林肯过生日 Great Event
Teacher: What great event happened in 1809?
Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln was born.

Teacher: Correct. And what great event happened in 1812?

Little Willy: Abraham Lincoln had his third birthday.

老师:1809年发生了什么重大事件?

小威利:亚伯拉罕-林肯诞生。

老师:正确。那么1812年发生了什么重要事件呢?

小威利:亚伯拉罕-林肯过他的三周岁生日。

3.谁最懒 Who Is the Laziest
Who Is the Laziest?
Father: Well, Tom, I asked to your teacher today, and now I want to ask you a question. Who is the laziest person in your class?

Tom: I don't know, father.

Father: Oh, yes, you do! Think! When other boys and girls are doing and writing, who sits in the class and only watches how other people work?

Tom: Our teacher, father.

中文:

父亲:哎,汤姆,今天我跟你们老师谈过,现在我想问你个问题。你们班上谁最懒?
汤姆:我不知道,爸爸。
父亲:啊,不对,你知道!想想看,当别的孩子们都在做作业、写字时,谁在课堂上坐着,只是看人家做功课?
汤姆:我们老师,爸爸。

注释:

watch是指专注地看着某人或某物的动作,指观看,常用于看电视、看比赛、看某人进行某种活动等,一般用于看连续的过程;而look是指将视线放在某人或某物之上,常用来提醒别人注意某人或某种正在发生的情况,一般是看一个画面。

4.我又不认识那个女人!
I don't even know that woman

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman siting on a bench, passionately kissing.

"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.

"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"

中文:

一对在公园散步的夫妇注意到坐在长凳上的那对年轻男女正在热烈地接吻。

“为什么你不能那样做呢?”妻子说。

“亲爱的,”她丈夫回答,“我又不认识那个女人!”

5.一个电话
A Telephone Call

Mrs. Jones was waiting for an important telephone call, but she had no bread in the house, so she left the baby at home and said to his five-year-old brother, “I'm going to the shops, Jimmy, and I will be back in a few minutes.”

While she was out, the telephone rang and Jimmy answered. “Hello,” said a man, “is your mother there?”

“No,” answered Jimmy.

“Well, when she comes back, say to her, ”Mr. Baker telephoned.“

“What?”

“Mr. Baker. Write it down. B-A-K-E-R.”

“How do you make a B?”

“How do I make……? Listen, little boy, is there anybody else with you? Any borthers or sisters?”

“My brother Billy is here.”

“Good, I want to talk to him, please.”

“All right.” Jimmy took the telephone to the baby's bed and gave it to Billy. When their mother came back, she asked “Did anyone telephone?”

“Yes,” said Jimmy, “a man. But he only wanted to talk to Billy.”

琼斯太太正在等一个重要的电话,但家里没有面包了,所以她把婴儿留在家里,对那五岁的哥哥说:“吉米,我去趟商店,马上就回来。”

她出去以后,电话铃响了,吉米接了电话:“喂,”一个男人说:“你母亲在家吗?”

“不在,”吉米回答。

“噢,等你妈妈回来,告诉她贝克先生来过电话。”

“什么?”

“贝克先生。写下来,B-A-K-E-R”

“B怎么写?”

“怎么写……听着,孩子,你身边还有别人吗?兄弟或姐妹?”

“我的兄弟比利在这里。”

“好,请叫他接电话。”

“可以。”吉米把电话拿到婴儿床边,递给比利。母亲回来问道:“刚才有人来过电话了吗?”

“有,”吉米说:“是个男人,但他只想和比利讲话。”
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1、这是你家的鸡吗?司机指着被他的汽车轧扁的小鸡对一个小孩说,
小孩仔细的看了看,回答:这只鸡和我家的一摸一样,颜色和大小
也相同,可以就是没那么扁
2、现在的孩子懂事都早,吴与同就是,有一天,她妈妈病了,浑身无力,]
躺在床上,说做不了饭,吴与同一挽袖子,说:妈妈,我扶你去厨房。
3、屠夫之妻生了一个孩子,她兴奋的告诉丈夫说 :亲爱的,咱们的宝贝8
斤重,屠夫脱口而出:带骨还是去骨
4、一家三口去饭店用餐。吃完饭后,爸爸付钱,而妈妈对招待小姐说:我可以把吃剩下的打包回家给狗吃吗?当然可以,您请。旁边的儿子高兴得跳起来,拍着手叫道:我们家终于要买狗啦!
5、有个中年男人在沙滩晒太阳,他裸着身子,正细细品位手中的报纸,有个小女孩朝他走来,他便把报纸遮住下面。女孩问他:你下面是什么?中年人说不好说就骗她:是小鸟。于是就继续看报纸,不知不觉就睡着了 ,醒来后,他感到下面非常刺痛,他问医生为什么,医生说:是个小女孩看见的,她说:
她很好奇就等你睡后来玩你的小鸟,刚一抓,没想到小鸟就大了起来,还向我喷水,我一生气,就扒了它的鸟皮,掐断它的鸟颈,捏破它的鸟蛋,最后一把火烧了它的鸟窝
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ybsw
2007-09-10 · TA获得超过634个赞
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男:疼吗,女:恩,男:算了,女:别。。最简短的笑话:痒,要。。。一个胖子跳楼了,结果成了死胖子。。。一个孩子问爸爸:爸爸,爸爸我是不是傻孩子丫?爸爸爱怜地摸着他头说:傻孩子,你怎么会是傻孩子呢?!!还有个人家要五个笑话,他却只给了四个但却得了最佳,你说好不好笑啊,哈哈哈哈哈哈
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琦玉老师一击必杀
2007-09-10 · TA获得超过886个赞
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A:从前有个太监...
B:下面呢?
A:没有了...
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