Question

帮忙看下英语作文

题目    据一项调查显示，有85.8%的中学生说自己的字迹不好看，而他们又不想改善字迹其理由有很大差别。请根据下图写1篇100个词左右的短文说明该现象并发表自己的看法，开头已给出                    中学生不想改善字迹的理由 可以用电脑写字        51.5没有时间写字         32.3没有什么用            10.9其他                          5.3作文                       Nowadays,with the growing popularity of computers,teachers,students and theirparents are paying less and less attention to handwriting(题给开头)There are kinds of reasons between our students,For instance ,51.5 percent of students feel that we can use computers in place of handwriting .so it is un necessary to spend extre time to practise handwriting .32.3percent of students think that so busy are we that hardly do we spare  time practicing handwriting  10.9percent of students think that there is no need to pay more attention to handwriting,5.3 percent of students have other reasons,     As far as I concered ,handwriting has great effect on social communciation.we are supposed to make it a rule to write good handwriting         打字很辛苦的，给点建议和点评吧，还有些能提高的方法，谢谢了                

Answer 1

嗯，总的来看你能够依照题目组织语言，也想用难度较大的从句和短语，但我不得不说的是，英语作文最大的忌讳是不认真看题，随意发挥，你作文最大的扣分点是未完全按照所给的分论点议论：
题目说51.5的人没时间写字，但你写的是use computers in place of handwriting ，32.3没有什么用，你写的是so busy are we that hardly do we spare time practicing handwriting 。或许你时间紧将题目没打清楚，但英语作文就是按照所给条目得分的，如果想有文采多赚一些分，首要要一字一句的把要求的都写出来，然后再补充，哪怕一些句子很幼稚，很老土，能得分就好了。
下面我把你作文中的一些错误列出来：
(1).so it is un necessary to spend extre time to practise handwriting .“so”应该大写，spend time on doing sth，不是to do，应改为spend extre time (on)practising handwriting,
(2).32.3percent of students think that so busy are we that hardly do we spare time practicing handwriting 看出来你想用从句，但用错了，我没看懂，that后跟说明、解释是没错，are we倒桩用的是we are hardly to do sth的句型，直接跟practise就可以了，为什么又出来个do呢，很混乱，我改了一下:32.3percent of students think it so troublesome are we that to practise handwriting.
(3).一个小建议，想得高分，句子间多加一些关联词，比如not only ……but also,however ,no matter how/what/when,in my opinion,in addition,absolutely,generally,而且像这种给出观点的议论文，最好加上at first，secondly,thirdly,finally等注明层次的词，注意单数动词和过去式，从句除非有把握否则弄巧成拙，书写好一些，老老实实按要求写，25分得话应该可以20-22分，高考也就这个分数了。