求一篇英语笑话,初一的,要简单的,可以讲2分钟。英文加翻译,比较难的个别单词把音标写上。不能太俗气!

谢谢了!让我满意的追加10分... 谢谢了!让我满意的追加10分 展开
快乐8夜游神
2012-02-19
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The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor, Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!" 医生懂得多 一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院.他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:"我想他伤得很厉害."医生说:"我怕他已经死了."听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:"我没死,我还活着."妻子说:"安静,医生比你懂得多."
MLX5
2012-02-26
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Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
老师:汤姆,您为什么每天上学迟到?
汤姆:我每次路过拐角,一个路标上面写着:"学校----慢行。"

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
妈妈:你为什么不停地跳上跳下的?
汤姆:我刚吃完药,可我忘了先摇瓶子了

Tom: William has asked me for a loan of five pounds. Should I be doing right in lending it to him?
Jack: Certainly.
Tom: And why?
Jack: Because otherwise he would try to borrow it from me.
汤姆:威廉向我借五英镑。我该不该借给他?
杰克:当然应该了。
汤姆:为什么?
杰克:否则他就该跟我借了。

Stranger: Catch any fish?
陌生人:钓到鱼了吗?
Fisherman: Did I! I took forty out of this stream this morning.
钓鱼者:我是谁?一早晨我就在这条小溪钓到了40多条鱼呢。
Stranger: Know who I am? I'm the game warden
陌生人:你知道我是谁吗?我是这里的渔猎执行官。
Fisherman: Know who I am? I'm the biggest liar in the state
钓鱼者:那你知道我是谁吗?我是全国最大的说谎者。

3.Teacher: Tom, why are you so late for school tdoay? And where is your homework book?
Tom: Sorry, Miss. I met a robber on my way to school this morning...
Teachse: Oh, My Gosh! So terrible! Did he robber anything from you?
Tom: He...he robbed my homework book....
老师:汤姆,你今天为什么迟到这么久?还有你的家庭作业本呢?
汤姆:对不起,老师,我今天在上学的路上遇上了一个抢劫犯……
老师:噢,天哪!太糟糕了!他抢了你什么东西没有?
汤姆:他……他抢走了我的家庭作业本……
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百度网友4334972d3b
2012-02-19
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