Question

美国大学申请文书 求批改

When I was a little boy, I often watched the sports game on TV under the impact of my father and thus I fell in love with playing sports such as table tennis and basketball.As I grow up, I started paying attention to those behind sports game, such as how a game is organized and how to run a sports organization well.Little by little, I got a general understanding of sports business.During my college life, in order to obtain real sports-related experience, I was always exposed to sports event in my spare time.In my freshman year, I joined in the sports department of Students’ Union, assisting in organizing and planning basketball series. During the campus basketball competition, I experienced a complete process of basketball event operation ranging from writing the event proposal to administering a real event. I assisted in working out the plan covering necessary elements of the game, including the rules of competition, venue selection, sign-in method, and referee invitation. To save our budget, I teamed up with my peers to visit the shops near campus searching for sponsorship. Due to my excellent communication skills, I managed to get a sponsorship valued at 8,000 Yuan, which covered roughly one-third of the total budget. In the sophomore year, I participated in sports meeting as long-jump competition reporter by writing feature stories and game announcement.In the following years at university, I still keep accumulating experience in sports industry, such as event teller and event operation assistant.
I had been studying social work at Tianjin University in China from 2010 to 2014 ,getting degree in law, and I have a brief experience in studying social work at Monash University in Australia. Although my previous study is not sport management, my exposure to the relevant courses like Management, Marketing, Sociology etc. enabled me to theoretically lay a solid foundation necessary for sport management.The recent experience to support my enthusiasm for sport is the job in Golden Voice English Education & Technology Co., Ltd. where my main duty was facilitating communication with foreign teachers and students and coordinating with the stadium in arranging basketball event.In this process, I came to aware of the lack of sport-related knowledge and thus I eager to acquire advanced sport management knowledge to enhance my career potential.
Paragraph 3.

Answer 1

中国资深海外升学顾问、陈起永老师也表示：“文书会表明一个学生组织和表达自身思想的能力，它其实是帮助大学的录取委员们在课程、在校成绩、考试分数以及其他客观数据之外的领域进一步了解你。”比如我们开头中提到的北卡罗莱那大学非常有趣的文书题目，就是希望从学生的阐述中了解你的想象力、你的个性特点等。文书一定要辞藻华丽、情节动人么?一篇文书能够让你成功么?如果其他方面(比如在校成绩、课外活动)不强的话也许还不行，但是一篇写得很差的文书毫无疑问使得通向胜利的大门向你关闭，而如果你处于可录可不录的状态，一篇好的文书就可能挽救你。那么，我们该如何写好文书呢?首先，用文书描绘一个真实的你，而不是你认为名校希望你是什么样的。很多申请人有这样一个误区，认为甲大学喜欢录取有领袖潜力的学生、乙大学喜欢有特殊经历的学生，因此他们就会根据自己调查到的“学校特色”来写作不同风格的文书，认为投其所好就可以获得更大的成功机会。试想一下，如果所有的学生都是一个样的，你还愿意进入这样的大学去学习么?在此给大家的建议是，一定要保持真实的自我，在文书里写出一个有特色的自我。其次，有些美国本科申请者认为，文书写作的用词只要精心修饰，打动招生官就能成功进入名校。而在美国留学众多案例中，没有一位学生是因为文章的辞藻华丽或情节感人才被录取，撰写自身经历最重要的是充分挖掘其中的意涵，突出自己独到的思想。南加州大学大中华区招生官就曾指出：“每年中国学生的文书内容都能反映出当年中国的热点。2008年，大部分的学生都在写奥运;2009年，他们的经历又都和那年的地震有关;最近两年的热点是支教。不仅题材雷同，连开头都很相似，都是“下着雨的清晨，我们来到了某个偏远的小山村，山里的孩子们物质虽然贫乏，但是都很单纯、快乐，充满了对知识的渴求……”这种同质化的经历和文书内容显然无法引起招生官的兴趣，但这并不意味着我们不能写支教题材的文书，重要的是要在文书中体现出你对支教的认识，对现实的思考和质疑，这才是美国大学所看重的。再次，要学会从申请的角度写好文书。Q同学就是一个很好的例子。她参加了GPSA@危地马拉的公共服务活动，并将这个经历写进了自己的申请文书。但是最初完成的文书只是从自己的出发点来写一些简单的感受，而仅仅有这些是远远不够的，的陈起永老师从申请的角度来指导她，对文书进一步的完善，添加了许多专业知识，比如医疗器材的使用、急救常识、传染病防治的知识等，从当地人对疾病的态度上写出了自己更深层次的认识。一个受过专业医疗急救培训，并且将来还要继续从事相关志愿活动的中国女生形象就这样从申请文书中跃然而生。文书中展现出的精彩的活动经历也使她成功进入了埃默里大学。每个申请者的兴趣爱好、擅长的项目和活动经历最终都以文书的形式展现在招生官的面前。对于打算申请美国名校的中国学生来说，一定要学会用文书来阐释在分数和荣誉背后的你，在有限的篇幅内向学校“亮出”你自己。通过上面天道小编为正在准备美国大学申请文书的同学介绍的美国留学文书怎么写的信息，希望在写美国大学文书的同学能够从中了解到一下对自己有用的信息，想了解的美国留学信息请关注天道留学。

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