Question

求助：雅思作文批改评分

14号就要上考场了 麻烦大家给看看这能是什么水平啊~
PART 2: Q: research indicates that the characteristics we are born with have much more influence on our personality and development than any experiences we may have in our life.
Which do you consider to be the major influence?

Currently, there are some scientific evidences showing that one’s inherent characteristics are much more influential to their future life. However, I think average people still should believe that a successful life doesn’t simply rely on genetic factors.

Superficially, people could inherit superior characteristics from their parents, the significant influence of upbringing environment also play a vital role in determining their future trace. Born in a family with parents addicted to gambling or drugs, the most talented children can hardly grow into useful adults. Practically, they will engage in juvenile delinquency as they grow up. In contrast, students who get proper education and live with loving parents will be able to own a promising future and a positive trait. Apart from this, people can not deny the impressive influence of traveling experience on expending one’s vision. Individuals are offered a chance to learn about other cultures and different people which can develop their knowledge and re-mode their mind.

Admittedly, it is common to find several talented pupils who can solve complex math problems quickly and accurately. Also, there are children who born with adorable appearance, this is their advantage over the average-looking peers to get more praises. However, these advantages can not last long. Many cases have illustrated that, without hard working in their later life, the born genius ended up achieving nothing. Only by consistently studying and continually efforts can someone truly become great.

In conclusion, results form the research may have been carefully proofed and can be trusted, however, the influence of other factors such as education are of importance.

Answer 1

建议你直接到新东方的批改网提交一下，有外教批改，还能给你范文重写什么的，打的分也比较准
我从那改过，还不错。还有品论、修改意见什么的,老师都是外国人,会以外国人的思维去改,帮助不少.

Answer 2

题目对吗？你写的内容非常一般。得分不超过5。

追问

题目是对的，你是觉得内容不好还是词汇句型之类的呢？ 如果两个都不怎么地，哪个需要更多的提高，5啊 这也太悲剧了

追答

三言两语说不好。词汇还行，内容不够切题，中心思想不突出。