Question

英语高手请进,修改~(谢谢)

What can you do under a predicament? Will you resist or shirk? It is a hard choose. But the character of Jane Eyre choosed resist. Charlotte Brontё is the author of Jane Eyre , it is a story in about 18th century. The character Jane Eyre was a poor but aspiring, small in body but huge in soul girl, relied on her effort, she surmounted all the difficulty, so finally, she found and go on the way which was belongs to her.
Jane Eyre was a poor girl, but she was also a strong person. Her parent both died when she was young. She lived with her mean aunt. She could not get love and encourage in her aunt` s family, her cousin reviled and struck her, the servants despised her. Because Jane` s aunt is her mom` s sister in law. Her uncle wanted his wife to bring up Jane when he was living. But Jane` s aunt loathed Jane, she did not want to give Jane good cares, so she send Jane to a cheap and bad boarding school. The minister (headmaster) of that boarding school was a superficial person, he was ignorant of duty, and had some misun- derstand of Jane. One day, he criticized Jane in everyone` s presence. Jane was sad, but everyone understood her, and gave encourage to her. The boarding school did not have enough money for every students ` food, clothes, articles for daily use. Students were hungry, cold every time. But all about this stop until a calamity began, it was a calamity about disease, almost half students died that time. After that, all changed. Jane and another students` life had big change, they got good care and every things what they needed. So Jane stayed in that boarding school 8 years, 6 years was a student, and the other 2 years was a teacher.
This was Jane` s childhood, half was sweet and half was sour. For relative`s unconcerned, she tried to changed, but the result was greatly disappointed. An orphan, face the life bravely. Rely on the willpower that never yield under adve- rse circum- stances, surmounted all the difficulty. So whenever you come across difficulties, you should not give up easily. (If you ask me why, I will answer: God will open a window when he close a door in front of you, so don't give up forever. At least I believed.)
In the eighth year of Jane in the boarding school, her favorite teacher (actually was colleague or friend) was leaving by marriage. After that, Jane felt her life is too calm, so she decided to leave the boarding school. She found a job of tutor by the newspaper. Mr. Rochester was her student` s adoptive fat- her, she met Mr. Rochester in her student` s home. Slowly, Mr.Rochester felt Jane is a strong person (Even though that Jane looks weak.) and Jane knew Mr. Rochester is a funny gentleman by their talking. They fell in love soon. Later, they decided to marry. When the wedding was going, Mr. Rochester` s brother in law exposed that Mr. Rochester had a mad living wife. Jane was sad. She left Mr. Rochester, and began a journey which is full of danger.
This was a main turning point for Jane. She met Mr. Rochester, and got the sweet love, but it made Jane get more hurt too.But she always thought that you should make change for yourself, do not worry about what will be like in the future, just face it bravely and be confidence. I thought everyone should be like that, be confidence, and brave.
太长了,省了两段 请帮忙 小女子初3 谢大虾们拉

Answer 1

predicament改成adverse situation 尽量别用这种大词，因为一般都用得不大对
resist用的也不准，fight, stand up等等都好一些，shirk勉强可以
choose改成question，起码choose连名词都不是
But去掉，不存在转折
the character of去掉，繁琐
choose resist改为chose to resist不规则动词 后边加to do
具体就不说了，太麻烦，直接给你改吧

What can you do in adverse situation? Will you fight against it or shirk? This is a hard question. Jane Eyre, the main character of "Jane Eyre", chosed to resist. Charlotte Brontё is the author of this book, which is a story happened in the 18th century. Jane Eyre was a poor but aspiring girl, physically weak but spiritually strong. Relying on her effort, she overcame all the difficulty, and in the end, found the way that belonged to her.
Jane Eyre was a girl who suffered a lot, yet never gave up her life. Her parent both died when she was young. She lived with her mean aunt. She received neither love nor encouragement from her aunt` s family: her cousin reviled and struck her, the servants despised her, because Jane` s aunt is her mom` s sister in law, and she brought up Jane Eyre only for the request of her husband, who wanted his wife to do so when he was living. But Jane` s aunt didn't like Jane, nor did she want to give Jane good cares, so she sent Jane to a cheap and bad school. The minister (headmaster) of that boarding school was a shallow person, he was ignorant of duty, and somehow misunderstood Jane. One day, he criticized Jane in everyone` s presence. Jane was sad, but everyone understood her, and gave encourage to her. The boarding school did not have enough money for every students ` food, clothes, articles for daily use. Students were always hungry, cold. But all these stoped when a calamity began, it was a calamity of disease, in which almost half students died. After that, all changed. Jane and another students` life had especially big change - they got good care and everything they needed. So Jane stayed in that boarding school for 8 years, 6 years as a student, and the other 2 years as a teacher.
This was Jane` s childhood, half sweet and half bitter. For relative`s unconcerned(没看明白这句）, she tried to change, but the result was very disappointing. An orphan, facing the life bravely, relied on the willpower that never compromised with adverse circumstances to overcome all the difficulties.（完全没看明白这句的前后联系） So whenever you encounter difficulties, you should not give up easily. (If you ask me why, I will answer: God will open a window when he closes a door for you, so don't give up ever. At least I believe in this.)
In the eighth year of Jane in the boarding school, her favorite teacher (actually colleague or friend) left by marriage. After that, Jane felt her life was too calm, so she decided to leave the boarding school. She found a job of tutor for the newspaper. Mr. Rochester was her student` s adoptive fat- her(???), she met Mr. Rochester in her student` s home. Slowly, Mr.Rochester felt Jane was a strong person (Even though she looked weak.) and Jane knew Mr. Rochester was a funny gentleman from their talk. They fell in love soon. Later, they decided to marry. When the wedding was on, Mr. Rochester` s brother in law revealed that Mr. Rochester had a mad wife still alive. Jane was sad. She left Mr. Rochester, and began a journey which was full of danger.

改完的感想
1.初三有这魄力写这么长，强！
2.动词时态错误很多
3.看得出来很多次都是查的字典，单词量须巩固，查字典的词很少可以用得很准确
4.我实在改得很闹心

Answer 2

修改如下：

What can you do under a predicament? Will you resist or shirk? It is a hard choice. But the main character Jane Eyre chosed to resist. Charlotte Brontё is the author of Jane Eyre, a story in the 18th century. Jane Eyre was a poor but aspiring girl, small in body but huge in soul. Relying on her own effort, she surmounted all the difficulty. So finally, she found out the way which just belonged to her.

Jane Eyre was a poor girl, but she was also a strong person. Her parents both died when she was young. She lived with her mean aunt. She could not get any love and encouragement in her aunt`s family. Her cousin reviled and struck her while the servants despised her. Because Jane`s aunt was her mom`s sister in law, her uncle wanted his wife to bring up Jane when he was living. But Jane`s aunt loathed Jane and she did not want to give Jane any good care, so she sent Jane to a cheap and bad boarding school. The minister (headmaster) of that boarding school was a superficial person ignorant of duty. He had some misunderstanding of Jane. One day, he criticized Jane in everyone`s presence. Jane was sad, but everyone understood her, and encouraged her. The boarding school did not have enough money for every students` food, clothes or articles for daily use. Students were hungry and cold from time to time. But all this did not stop until a calamity began, a calamity about disease, almost half of the students died that time. After that, all changed. There were big changes in Jane and other students` life. They got good care and what they needed. So Jane stayed in that boarding school for 8 years, 6 years as a student, and 2 years as a teacher.

This was Jane`s childhood, half sweet and half sour. For the relative`s indifference, she tried to change, but the result was disappointing. As an orphan, she faced the life bravely. Relying on the willpower that never yielded under adversity, she surmounted all the difficulty. So whenever you come across difficulties, you should not give up easily. (If you ask me why, I will answer: God will open a window when he close a door in front of you, so never give up. At least I believed it.)

In Jane's eighth year in the boarding school, her favorite teacher (actually a colleague or friend) was leaving by marriage. After that, Jane felt her life was too calm, so she decided to leave the boarding school. She found a job of tutor from the newspaper. Mr. Rochester was her student`s adoptive father, so she met Mr. Rochester in her student`s home. Slowly, Mr.Rochester felt Jane was a strong person (Even though Jane looked weak.) and Jane knew Mr. Rochester was a funny gentleman from their talk. They fell in love soon. Later, they decided to marry. When the wedding was being held, Mr. Rochester`s brother in law exposed that Mr. Rochester had a mad living wife. Jane was sad. She left Mr. Rochester, and began a journey which was full of danger.

问题补充：This was a main turning point for Jane. She met Mr. Rochester, and got the sweet love, but it made Jane get more hurt too. But she always thought that one should make changes for himself/herself. There was no need to worry about what would be like in the future. Just face it bravely and be confident. I thought everyone should be like that. Be confident and brave!

Answer 3

我靠，太高深了。。。顶过。。。眼累。。。